Deal with the devil
by Lantern92
Summary: Sarah finds herself entangled in an unlikely web of emotions for the one person she least expected: the most messed up person ever. [SarahxEddy]
1. Desire

**All characters belong to Cartoon Network and Danny Antonucci**

**_Prologue: _**She knew what he was like. She knew he was the furthest thing from perfect and yet every bone in her body ached for his imperfection. He'd destroy her innocence... obliterate it for his own amusement and not bat an eyelid. Men like him weren't capable of love, no. They had no use for it. Men of his caliber had less than pure intentions when it came to girls like her, and the scary part was they never made it a secret. Their whispers of sweet nothings and honey kisses would deceive you. See, they made you choose. Like a moth to a flame, they waited patiently to warm you. Then they would burn you. Finally, they would incinerate you. And in the end when it's far too late, you wouldn't mind that you sold your soul for love. His empty love.

* * *

**A Deal With The Devil**

* * *

**_Desire_**

It was 10pm and Jimmy had just sent Sarah a text saying he was on his way over to her place to pick her up for Nazz's party in the woods.

The 19 year old groaned on her bed in the darkness, flinging her cellphone aside and deciding to lay motionless as if it would stop the pain she was feeling. All she wanted was hide away from the world because she felt so powerless.

It had been too long a semester and summer was finally here, but she wasn't one bit excited about it. She actually found she preferred to be distracted with the work and extra credits she had purposefully buried herself in in order to escape from the inappropriate thoughts she was having of her older brother's obnoxious best friend.

Downstairs in the apartment she shared with her brother, she could hear the older sibling talking excitedly to his friends. Actually, she had been laying there for minutes now listening in on their conversation about girls; Sarah's ears piquing with interest every time Eddy contributed to the topic.

He mainly wrote off his friend's adventures with their significant others, justifying his lack of time for a meaningful relationship with how busy he was with his job; he also had imminent plans to permanently move to New York as soon as he finished his finance graduate degree. So getting a girlfriend was the last thing on his mind.

Sarah sighed, trying not to think of a world where the once infuriating Eddy wouldn't be over every other day assaulting her with his sly, impolite remarks.

Over the years, she had developed unwanted feelings for the arrogant older man. Sarah wasn't even too sure how it began, how, or even why. She just knew that somewhere between hating the boy he was and respecting the man he had grown to become she had started to feel extremely attracted to him; his now muscular frame, his commanding presence, the smug condescending looks he gave everyone, the way his sharp woody scent hung in the air whenever he walked past, the way his low, rumbling voice filled the room as he laughed, his thick raven mane, the stubble that grew on his grown up handsomely chiselled jaw, his relentless ambition…

Every bit of him intrigued Sarah, and she couldn't bear to admit it to herself; what more tell anyone else, not even her best friends Jimmy and Nazz. She thought it was dumb, probably even misguided and naïve to entertain thoughts of him reciprocating the romantic feelings, so whenever she had one of her love-struck episodes, it always made her angry because she knew she could never have him.

Not only could she not have him, he probably saw her as his best friend's annoying little sister and nothing more.

To make matters even worse, Sarah had heard that Eddy was regularly hooking up with Lee Kanker who had developed into a curvy, gregarious woman endowed with a set of 34DDs, a tiny waist, hips and legs that would all give Kim Kardashian a good run for her money. What Lee lacked in manners and intelligence she made up for in pure sexual allure, a detailed knowledge of the Kama Sutra and a face that any red blooded male would undoubtedly be mesmerized by. And Eddy was no exception.

How could little Sarah even begin to compete with that?

And now, Eddy would be moving away. She frowned to herself, thinking how hopeless the situation was. She was just going to have to force herself to forget about him and move on, but the problem with that was she didn't know how to forget her feelings or ignore the thoughts of him that constantly reeled in her mind.

If only she was older and sexier… Then maybe…

A honk downstairs signalled Jimmy's arrival and interrupted her insecurity ridden pity-party monologue.

Wanting to run away from her own thoughts, she dove off her bed and grabbed her abandoned cellphone then fished for her house keys under the pile of outfits that she had been trying on and threw them in her sling bag. She gave her reflection a weak, encouraging smile and adjusted her hair before storming out of the door. When she was at the foot of the stairs, she realized she had forgotten her lip gloss as she dug in the bag, and that was when she landed flat on her butt, the result of hitting into something.

'Whoa there half-pint,' Eddy said, turning to her with half a beer in hand. She had accidentally ran into him as he was coming out of the kitchen. 'Where's the fire?'

Sarah sat there surprised and wide eyed. Not knowing how to react she bit her lower lip nervously, almost blushing from the very sight of his condescending smirk. God, he looked so sexy with his rolled up work shirt sleaves and buttoned down collar. Eddy offered her a hand to help her up and she hesitantly took it.

Just as quickly she changed her demeanour to indifference, so that he wouldn't see just how in smitten she was with him. Her heart was beat fast but she she put her guard up just in time 'Watch where you're going loser,' she said rudely.

Eddy's facial expression turned to one of irritation so he let go of her hand and she fell on her butt again 'Hey!' Sarah cried.

Eddy shrugged as if it was her fault '…You're not going out like that are you?' he asked, pointing out the beer stain on her dress.

'Agh, shit,' Sara swore. 'Thanks a lot asshole, now I'm gonna have to change.'

Eddy raised an eyebrow at her bad language then proceeded into the living room where his two friends were preoccupied with a gaming console 'Ed, you really gotta do something about your sister's potty mouth dude…!'

Sarah made her way up to her bedroom to change into a different outfit. It took her a while on account of her having to jump into the shower to rinse off the sticky beverage from her body as well as finding another outfit just as good as the first from the stacks that weren't on the floor or in the laundry basket. Between that and finding matching shoes and redoing her makeup, she had nothing but time to think.

She replayed the scene several times in her mind, her heart pounding furiously from the close contact they had shared. Admittedly, her feelings were hurt by the way he had talked to and treated her. Sure she started it but it was never her intention to be a jerk.

Why wasn't she nicer? Why did he have to be so mean and selfish? Why did she have to always pretend to be mean to him? Why couldn't he be friendly like Double D or considerate like her brother? Why couldn't she be civil to him? Why did he always have to provoke her?

She jogged downstairs yet again, making a point to not forget anything this time. She almost ran past the living room when her older brother called her back. When she stood by the doorway she saw Jimmy uncomfortably sitting among the Eds, his face bored and impatient.

'What?' Sarah asked her brother. Jimmy, with a relieved look on his face, stood up quickly as soon as he saw her but Ed pulled his shoulder to sit him back down without removing his gaze from the console.

After a moment, Ed dropped his controller as Eddy exclaimed in victory, probably winning the game. The older sibling looked at his sister and crossed his arms unimpressed at her.

'Are you really going out like that?' her brother asked protectively, looking very distastefully at her crop top and short shorts with ankle boots outfit.

Eddy wolf whistled 'Nice upgrade half-pint,' he winked at her then went back to the gaming console, not giving her a second glance. That disappointed a part of Sarah.

'Yea, won't it be cold?' Double D asked, an iPad perched on his lap and reading glasses on his face.

'You aren't mom Ed,' Sarah pointed out defiantly, putting her hands on her hips and ignoring the comments from the other Eds.

Her brother sighed, knowing to pick his battles carefully. 'Nazz told us about the party, so we're gonna be there.' Ed explained. 'I'll give you a ride back home afterwards.'

She had nearly forgotten that by virtue of Double D dating Nazz the Eds were automatically added to the guest list.

A part of Sarah was annoyed at the fact that her overly protective brother would be there, watching her every move but another part of her knew that with Ed came Eddy. They practically came as a set. She could watch Eddy the whole night and maybe… her mind froze. No. no chance. What was she thinking? Eddy wouldn't want to dance or hang out with her, _especially_ not in public. _Especially_ when Nazz had hot older friends. _Especially_ when Lee Kanker was going to be there. And with the scene she had just put on earlier over the beer stain, she highly doubted he'd even want to breathe in her direction tonight.

'Uhm, I'll pass,' Sarah said, feigning a smile. 'Thanks for the offer though big brother! Come on Jimmy let's go.'


	2. Envy

**_Envy_**

"I really need to get wasted tonight," Sarah told her best friend.

"You have my blessing," Jimmy replied. "You've been taking twice as many required classes this term. I'm surprised you made it out alive."

Sarah playfully stuck her tongue out at him. He smiled back and said "It's like you're trying to graduate early or something."

"I guess I just need to keep myself busy or else I go crazy." She lied.

Jimmy knew her better than anyone else and he wasn't buying her story; little did he know he wasn't too far from the truth. By taking up extra credits, Sarah did intend to seem more mature and responsible for her age, with the hope of earning the respect and attention of a certain older man…

"Well, now its summer and I forbid you to work," Jimmy chastised.

"Yes sir!" Sarah said as she mock saluted. The radio began playing an upbeat pop song that filled the car with a pleasant melodious tune.

"Oh my gosh, this is my song!" she scram, turning the volume knob up and dancing in her seat whilst singing along.

As they pulled up to the woods, they were surprised to find it already abuzz with people, despite it being fairly early in the night. Some were already drunk, vomiting on trees and staggering through the crowds of merrymakers.

Most of the girls present were clad in skimpy outfits that left nothing to the imagination; either swaying drunkenly in pairs to the electronic music or grinding sensually on guys holding foam cups.

It looked as though the whole town had showed up for Nazz's party. The vibe was promising and for the first time that night, Sarah felt like everything was going to be just alright. Eddy or no Eddy.

"I wanna party till I can't see you baby…!" the two of them sang along to the radio excitedly.

...

Sarah had begun drinking as soon as she spotted the barrels of alcohol.

She had decided that she was not going to waste any more time staying sober and remembering how miserable her love life was, what with all the couples hanging about in the vicinity. They were all conspiring, determined to remind her of the love that lacked in her life.

Jimmy had spotted his boyfriend Johnny early on and they were off dancing somewhere so Sarah resorted to hanging out with Nazz. She wasn't ready to play third wheel.

"Nazz, have a drink!" Sarah cooed, half drunk. "This is _your_ party!"

"I am not touching that stuff. Kevin and Rolf put god-knows-what in the punch. And anyway, you know I don't drink," she said, twirling her hips to the music coming from the DJ stage. "I get high on life."

"You mean on boringness," Sarah teased as she gulped down another drink, pouring yet another.

"Yea, that," giggled Nazz who donned tights, a stylish tank top with a pair of sandals. "Hey, you need to slow down on those Sarah, or else I'm gonna have to carry you back home again. I really don't want Ed grilling me about your drinking habits."

Nazz knew her young friend loved to drink a bit too much. She also knew better than anyone else that Sarah's older brother did not know about that side of her, and would certainly not approve.

Sarah rolled her eyes and put her arms in the air "Ok, I'll slow down and be boring like you."

Sarah was beginning to wonder where the Eds were.

It had been four and a half hours into the party, nearing 1am and there was still no sign of them. She wondered if Nazz had spoken to her boyfriend about their whereabouts. The blonde probably had because she didn't look too distressed about Double D not being there.

Sarah battled with herself over asking her what time they were coming. In her now drunken state, she was starting to feel like she was missing Eddy's presence.

It was Eddy's absence that was causing her unnecessary anxiety and the only way she knew to calm her nerves was with liquid courage. She had completely dismissed Nazz's plea to slow down and enjoyed the elated sensation drunkness provided, fuelling it with more alcohol.

It gave her strength of will to go out in search of guys to dance. None of them were half as interesting as the man on her mind but she kept up the charade because she was lonely and they helped kill the time, boring as they were.

Eventually she became so agitated by their mindless chatter and unimpressive erections rubbing on her that she returned to Nazz who was entertaining guests.

"Well, hey there girls," a familiar voice said behind them.

Two of the Kanker sisters, Lee and May, stood behind Nazz. Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Hey," Nazz turned and said politely like the nice person and host she was. Sarah didn't even bother to greet them, she just gave a nod of acknowledgement to Lee and a smile to her brother's dimwit girlfriend May who had come up to hug her.

"Cool party you have here," Lee said to Nazz, an insincere smile on her face.

"Thanks, Lee," Nazz said. "Good to hear you're enjoying yourself. Where's Liz?"

"She said she didn't want to be at her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend's party" May said honestly, which earned her an elbowing from Lee.

"She's not feeling too good," Lee cleared up then she began to pour herself a drink. Sarah gave Lee's back a good once over.

Boy did she look good and did Sarah hate her for it.

Lee was wearing tight leather pants, a revealing V-neck top and matching black sandals, pulling her fiery red hair into a ponytail that exposed her perfect shoulders as her piercing blue eyes were curtained by full thick bangs. She didn't even have to try to dress to impress. Anyone with a set of functioning eyes could tell she was packing a hot body underneath the seemingly normal clothes.

May may not have been the smartest person around, but she also knew how to accentuate her best features - her legs. She wore a short tight pink dress that had a belt on her small waist and ankle high boots. Her blonde hair was in light soft curls and her makeup was done to perfection, as always. May had always been nice to Sarah, and Sarah honestly didn't even have anything against her, except her sister. Sarah actually thought May was probably the perfect girl for her older brother, although she had never admitted it to her, lest she get even more affectionate than necessary.

"Have you seen Eddy anywhere?" Lee asked, and Sarah felt a twinge of jealously because Lee had every right to ask and she didn't.

"He's on his was with Ed and Double D" Nazz informed her.

"Yay," May said excitedly, clapping her hands together like a seal.

Lee rolled her eyes at her sister then her intimidating gaze sat on Sarah's. They held it for a couple of moments and Sarah could tell that Lee really didn't like her, not a single bit.

Well then that made them equal because Sarah wasn't exactly a fan of hers either.

"I'm gonna go sit by those rocks over there," Sarah told Nazz, wanting to get away from the tension, she selfishly grabbed whole a bottle of Tanqueray and a half full Sprite one. "Feeling a bit dizzy."

...

Double D had parked far away from where the actual party was because there was no more parking left nearby. Lots of cars had parked in others and it gave the illusion of vehicles stacked on top of one another.

Almost as soon as they stepped foot out of the truck, May jumped on Ed, legs wrapped around his waist and kissed him.

"Hey sugar," she said with her arms around his neck. Ed smiled happily and kissed her back.

"Hey yourself," Ed held her up against him longer. "How's the party going?"

"It was boring until now," she said smiling.

"Yeah yea, where's the booze?" asked Eddy impatiently.

May, climbing off her boyfriend and adjusting her dress pointed to the stand where a keg, huge punch bowl, several cooler boxes and crates of beers where.

"Have you seen my sister?" asked Ed.

"Yea, she's alright. I just saw her. She's with Nazz and Lee by the booze." May replied. Double D lit up at the mention of his girlfriend.

"What?" asked Eddy mid-stride to the alcohol. "You have to be fucken' kidding me."

"Nope," May said, oblivious to the fact that it was a rhetorical question, not meaning to be answered.

Lee and Eddy had been hooking up a lot during the term. However, they were currently on bad terms.

She was, after all, very sexy. He wanted her like all the other guys she came across but that was where his feelings for her ended. At lust. Although she didn't seem to understand that. She had begun to display signs of clinginess that were too intense for his liking. The fiery red head had taken way too much interest in him, and he was fed up with her pretend girlfriend act.

At the beginning they had agreed that their relationship would just be physical.

Eddy had repeatedly told her during the course of their secret rendezvous that he wasn't interested in a being tied down. However, Lee would not have that; although she acted like she was fine with the arrangement, she was sure she would change him. Make him fall in love.

Her attachment escalated to the point where she began duplicating his apartment keys, waiting for him after class by his car and scaring away any potential new flings.

He changed his cellphone number and door locks, also going to the extent of no longer driving to university, opting to car pool with Double D so that Lee couldn't wait by his car. The only two places he felt Lee-free were on campus because she wasn't enrolled and at Ed's house. He spent a lot of time at those two places when he wasn't at work just to avoid her.

It drove Eddy crazy and he was currently at the point where he couldn't even stand the sight of her so he actively avoided her around town.

And now here she was, waiting to confront and trail him around like a lost puppy.

"Think I'll go… socialize and shit. I'll catch up with you guys," Eddy lied, going in the opposite direction as the drink stand where Lee was, very angry that he was probably going to be the only one sober at the party. And alcohol was the main reason he even came.

He headed to the other end of the drinks stand by a couple of rocks where it was relatively dark and spotted a female figure sitting by them, cup in hand looking into the party.

The full bottles of Tanqueray and Sprite by her also caught his attention, so he decided to make friends because he needed to get drunk. Between work and studying this would probably be the only other chance he would get for a very long time.

When he got close enough, the flashing lights from the party unmasked a strawberry haired teenager whose pretty features revealed her drunken state and boredom; she seemed to be scanning the party as if she was looking for someone.

"Sarah?"


	3. Vain

**Vain**

Eddy squinted to make sure it was Sarah he was seeing. A part of him hesitated to approach the volatile girl. Looking behind him to Lee, he found himself trapped, forced to choose the lesser evil.

In the dim illumination of the moonlight and the flashing colours, Sarah looked different. Older perhaps? Maybe even, dare he think it…? Sexy…?

Her shoulder length hair hung loosely, framing her face as the tips teased the 32Bs that popped out of the crop top that her older brother disapproved of. As Eddy watched her, he could see the kid had the body for it. Her tight tummy on display looked seductive and the shorts she donned did quite a good job of hugging her hips and full thighs. The older male caught himself staring and shook away the less than innocent thoughts of her beginning to form in his head, replacing them with the more annoying girl he grew up with.

He was surprised he even noticed her like that. Sarah had never once stood out in any particular way other than for her foul attitude towards him.

Then again, it was dark and he was alcohol deprived, so he really didn't know what the hell was happening to him to make him notice these things. Perhaps little annoying Sarah wasn't as little anymore.

"Oh, hey asshole," she said perkily. So maybe she wasn't as little anymore, but she sure as hell was still annoying.

Her eyes were glazed over. It was pretty obvious that she had had one too many drinks. And yet here she was with more alcohol going at it like a pro. Eddy mentally gave her kudos for still drinking after she was already clearly intoxicated.

"What are you doing here Half-Pint?" he asked.

"Drinking," she replied almost shyly. Her tone threw Eddy off because he was not used to her being so soft spoken. It was a good look on her and Eddy almost wished she was always so nice. Then maybe life would be bearable around her.

"Alone?" asked Eddy.

"What's with the third degree," she asked madly now as if she remembered to be a brat. "I just don't want to be around people, okay?"

The man looked at her curiously, once again irritated by her attitude. He was about to walk away because he was in no mood for her baby bipolar shit. He was not going to go hiding from one insufferable woman to go and chill with another unbearable one. It would be better to be the lone wolf at the party in peace.

Sarah then said apologetically "Jimmy and Nazz are with their boyfriends and I'm sick of being the third wheel... now one-th wheel"

"Oh," he said, feeling bad for her and not amused by her quip. "Then go dance, I bet there'll be tonnes of guys out here willing to dance and hit on a girl like you."

"I already did. I'm avoiding them now. Their creeps," she said.

He looked back at the party where people were dancing and were either pairing up or were in groups of three or four. He spotted Ed with May dancing and knew that if Ed saw his sister alone, he would force her to join the two.

His friend would not have said it because he's a good brother, but having his little sister ruin the night would not be 'fun'. The big oaf had a tendency of playing martyr when it came to his baby sister.

…And also, if there was one thing Eddy knew about Ed and May was that they weren't the greatest company. Their antics made Eddy want to both kill himself and them. Sure they were good people but they were also idiots. In Eddy's opinion, no human should ever be tortured with their couple presence. Not even annoying Sarah.

Just then, Eddy saw that Lee had spotted him talking to Sarah and was immediately in flight mode. She was making her way towards them through the thick crowd of people and shrubbery. He had to get away from her or else the damn Kanker would ruin any chances of him having a good time. All he could do now was run. Away. Fast.

"How about we go sit by the lake?" he suggested to Sarah. "It's real cool out there."

Sarah looked at him puzzled and unsure like she was weighing her options.

"You could also stay out here and be hit on by drunk losers in cheap skinny jeans," Eddy said. "Your choice Half-Pint."

She looked into the party then back at him and finally stood, handing Eddy the alcohol.

...

Eddy had looked back behind them to make sure the coast was clear.

They were on an isolated part of the woods that would be difficult for anyone to stumble on. He first knew of the place when his brother had brought him to swim during his childhood. There was no way anyone, especially Lee would track him down (even in her desperateness). Then again, never underestimate a woman on a mission. Especially if her name was Lee Kanker.

They sat by a tree where the water sparkled in the moonlight. It was deathly silent but it didn't feel awkward. The music could still be heard clearly and its vibrations tremored lightly in the trees.

Sarah offered him her cup "You look like you could use a drink."

"Thanks," he said, pouring himself a good helping of Tanqueray and a small measure of Sprite. It tasted heavenly on his tongue and he gulped it down quickly, quickly pouring another. Sarah giggled at the sight and hugged her legs. Eddy did it twice more and once he decided he'd had his fill for the moment, he put the cup on the grass and sat contentedly, staring out into the lake.

"Wouldn't it be so cool to skinny dip now," Sarah wondered out-loud.

Eddy winced "I wouldn't recommend it. Drunk people in water can't really tell which way is up."

"How would you know?" she asked.

"One, its common sense," he explained in a know-it-all-tone. "And two, let's just say it was a past business deal gone wrong."

"You mean a scam." Sarah corrected.

"It's not a scam if it's legitimate," Eddy pointed out.

"How legitimate could it be if some drunk person almost died?"

Eddy looked at her "Look, dumb people do dumb shit. It's not my fault if they do it when they're doing business with me."

"Right." Sarah laughed drunkenly. "I can't believe how greedy you are."

The DJ began to play an upbeat pop song and a drunk Sarah got up, bouncing up and down, her hips swaying. "My song! Dance with me, Eddy!"

"I don't dance," Eddy replied in a bored manner.

The girl shrugged and begun twirling her hips to the melody filing the air. Her hands were rubbing the smooth curves of her outline and she seemed pretty content and happy to be dancing alone.

He watched with intrigue at this other side of her.

It surprised him how much of a likeable person she became when she wasn't bouncing off the walls or throwing snarky comments around. Her movements were effortless and graceful, almost perfect in the moonlight. He would have never guessed she danced this well.

She wasn't half bad like this.

Although, he had to admit, he liked the psychotic side of her too. It added spice to her personality and it showed she could stand up for herself, however infuriating it was. He hadn't met any other girl who could seem both innocent and murderous at the same time.

Sarah reached out to take Eddy's hand and surprisingly he didn't resist when she pulled him up. She turned and started to grind on him a bit too sensually. Eddy took in her floral scent as she placed his hands on her bare waist. Her skin was soft to Eddy's touch as his hand begun to wonder the contours of her body.

Never had he once thought of her as anything other than his friend's baby sister. But now he could see that she was no baby, no. She was a woman. One who was aggravating forbidden feelings in this particular man.

"You keep dancing like this you'll get into trouble," he whispered in her ear. He wrapped his arms around her as she continued to push up against him.

Sarah continued, smiling to herself, the whole thing surreal. She could feel his length growing behind her, much more impressive than the other guys she had danced with. Perhaps she was imagining it after all the drinks she had had. Or maybe she really had a chance after all..?

"Hey!" a shrill voice yelled. "So you're hiding here huh."

Sarah stopped dancing and looked at the familiar figure behind her. Lee stood there looking mad and incredibly displeased with what she was seeing. Sarah felt shame and even guilt from being caught red handed with someone else's man. Sure she wanted him, but was this the price she was willing to pay?

"What the hell is happening here?" Lee demanded.


	4. Ignorance

**Ignorance**

"Jesus, Lee!" Eddy exclaimed, startled and visibly peeved.

Sarah didn't say a word but stood her ground as best as she knew how behind Eddy, praying for her life. Lee glared at her. The older female was known for getting into fights that nearly always ended with her opponents in hospital or halfway to the morgue.

Lee marched towards them, wanting to get a good swing at Sarah but Eddy stopped her.

"I can't believe you're here with _that_ slut!" Lee said madly at him as he held her arms down to stop her from fidgeting. She tried her best to break free from his grip but was failing dismally, much to Sarah's relief.

At this point, Sarah's back was against a tree and she was contemplating running for her own safety. As tough as she always seemed to be, she really didn't like to get into physical fights. Sure she had been violent when she was younger, but she outgrew it.

"Relax toots, damn," Eddy said. "Nothing was happening, we were just dancing."

"_You expect me to believe that_?!"

"Yes actually," Eddy relayed. "Because what we were or weren't doing is really not any of your fucken business."

"Like hell it isn't Eddy!" She fought again to break out of his grip, even attempting to kick at Sarah but she was too far.

"You need to stop, goddammit. We aren't dating," Eddy half yelled.

That earned him a death look from Lee. Sarah thought she saw a flicker of hurt in Lee's eyes as she stopped flailing about. "Really? You're gonna say all that stupid shit after everything that's happened between us?"

Eddy frowned and shook his head, sighing frustratedly "I told you I didn't want a relationship with you and you go around stalking me and shit. It's driving me insane Lee, you need to stop. I'm just not interested in being in a relationship with you!"

Sarah felt hurt by those words, even though they weren't directed at her. If Eddy could put down 'sexy' Lee so harshly, what made her think she'd be the exception? And with him not wanting to commit would he even reciprocate the feelings the way she wanted? Eddy was the type of guy who would rip apart her fragile heart and dance all over the pieces triumphantly.

"You don't mean that Eddy, you're drunk," Lee's voice cracked and her mad eyes were now glossy with the tears that she fought back.

"I mean every word of it," Eddy said. "You can't take a hint. This is the only way I can get through to you."

That earned him a loud resounding slap from the Kanker sister and Sarah gasped at its intensity. It sounded, looked and probably felt painful as hell.

"Fine, Eddy. I got your message, loud and clear," Lee said, pointing threateningly. She turned on her heel and ran back into the woods.

Sarah stood by the tree, not knowing what to say.

The alcohol in her system made her want to laugh at the whole scene. Another part of her was scared Lee would want some sort of revenge on her for breaking up her pretend relationship with Eddy. A really small part of her wanted to run back home and bury her head and not give Eddy the chance to hurt her feelings like he had brutally done with Lee.

He was unkind and merciless and every girl was probably a toy to him. Why did she think she would be the exception?

"You okay?" Eddy asked, turning to Sarah.

She nodded, not saying a word and frozen on the tree's trunk.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," he feigned sincerity, stepping closer. "Lee…" he stopped not knowing how to phrase what he wanted to say "… she got the wrong idea about me and her, I just needed to set things straight."

Eddy was now too close. He looked down at the girl, unsure of what was going through her mind. She looked frightened and nervous, her breathing was shallow and forced. He smirked at her expression, glancing at her soft full lips.

A need to kiss them suddenly filled his mind.

The kid had one hell of a sexy body and there was no way he could un-notice that. Maybe it was because he had alcohol in his system, maybe it was because he had never seen her so vulnerable... whatever the reason, he suddenly felt extremely attracted to her. He wanted to leave his mark on her exposed neck and get a good grasp of those smooth thighs.

His eyes met hers and he read the intimidation in her eyes "Are you scared, Sarah?"

Sarah's heart quickened. His very presence demanded respect and his cunning personality drew her in. She had gone from desperately wanting to be with him to being scared of being used by him. However, the fear of being used was quickly being overtaken by the lust – a powerful longing she had for him to touch, kiss and hold her. She could think of the consequences later.

Like a moth to a flame.

"No," she said, boldly. The air was thick with the intensity of raw attraction between them.

Eddy could tell she was fibbing. And from his grin she knew he could tell. To prove him wrong, she leaned closer and kissed him, unsure whether of how he'd take it.

Eddy returned it hungrily, pleased that she was giving herself to him, a major ego boost. He put his hands on her waist and softly prodded her mouth open to caress her tongue with his own. It earned a soft mew from Sarah who now had her arms around his neck, pulling him even deeper to the kiss. He pulled away and nibbled on her neck, trailing the pecks to her jaw. Sarah thought she was going to explode when he swiftly undid the zip on her top and his large hands met with her bare mounds "Eddy…"

He kissed her again to stop the talking; she tasted of alcohol and he didn't mind. Eddy assumed she would sign this off as a drunken mistake the next morning. He didn't mind that too either. He knew, that in this moment she wanted this, probably more than he did and he hadn't tried to resist her. Her soft kisses made his heart quicken with desire and that wasn't the only place blood was furiously rushing to. He growled, drawing her pelvis into his growing one. He proceeded to fondle her ass, the experienced hands slinking underneath her shorts and underwear from the back to feel her heat… but she quickly stopped him.

"Eddy, wait…" she said.

Eddy reluctantly slowed, lightly kissing her neck; he didn't think he could wait too long to engage in conversation. This had better be good he thought finally stopping "What's wrong?"

"I… I'm…" Sarah looked down nervously.

He raised an eyebrow at her demeanour and put two and two together, like it should have been obvious from the beginning. He understood before she even finished her sentence.

"...Oh, shit..." he said, removing his hands off her suddenly. "_Shit_!"

"It's just that I'm drunk, you're drunk, we barely know each other, it's cold, there are bugs everywhere and that whole thing with Lee…" she mumbled. "I just pictured my first time playing out differently…"

He didn't know what to make of the situation. It never seemed to be any of his business to know if she was a virgin or not. He had actually never thought of her as a sexual being. But now, looking at her he saw just how untouched she was. How did he not guess this earlier?

He swore at himself for making the assumption.

Eddy did not want to be her first. Usually that spot was reserved for someone 'special', not a sleazebag out for some kicks. It was too much of a responsibility – no, too much of a burden – to undertake. She would expect things of him he wasn't even sure he was capable of.

Best just leave that up to some kid her own age.

But now there was an elephant in the room. She had kissed him and it was amazing; they were definitely attracted to one another. It'd take a lot for him to get that out of his head. But she was his friends little sister, three years his junior and a virgin.

It felt wrong, and yet…

"I'm sorry," she said, when she probably assumed that the silence meant he was displeased or angry at her.

"Don't be," Eddy said. He watched as she fixed up her ruffled clothing, his dark eyes carefully scanning her face.

She smiled innocently at him, and looked like she was going to say something else, but was holding back for fear of judgement. What had happened to the bitchy little Sarah he knew just hours ago?

"What?" he prodded.

"I… like you," she said nervously. "I've really liked you for a while now; as more than friends."

Eddy looked at the younger girl, completely blown away by her confession. "What?" He reiterated, his tone surprised.

She sure as hell had made it seem like the opposite.

He was so convinced that, if anything, she had kept her Double D childhood crush and her hatred towards him. All this time she insulted him and acted indifferent towards him when she was really harbouring romantic feelings for him?

Females were strange creatures.

What was he supposed to say to that? He had just got out of a rollercoaster ride of emotions with Lee Kanker and really didn't want to get into another one, especially with Sarah. She might take things personally because she was younger and a virgin. And because she was Sarah.

However, she was different from Lee and all the other girls he hooked up with.

She was inexperienced but on the other hand, she was potentially great company when she wanted to be.

"Are you gonna say anything?" she asked, slightly angry.

"Still processing," He replied, his eyes focused on the lake now, pensive. He was weighing his options. Was she worth it? He knew he could get away with taking advantage of her but something about that didn't sit so well with him. Maybe because of her brother. Maybe because of the naive look she was giving him.

"Hey Eddy, what happened with Lee?" Nazz's voice filled the air suddenly. The two turned to see Nazz and Double D standing there. Eddy's secret spot wasn't much of a secret anymore.

"Yea, she marched out of the party cursing you and in tears," Edd informed them.

"Sarah?" Nazz asked, noticing her friend in the dim light of the woods. "What are you guys doing here?"


	5. Lust

_**Lust**_

Eddy had barely spoken a word to Sarah in two weeks.

She would have been able to deal with his rejection if he had outright said he was not interested but he said no such thing. He just left it open to interpretation.

He kept coming over to her house every other day. When she knew he was around she would go out of her way to avoid him. It wasn't difficult because he never made much of an effort to get her attention either, walking past her like she was furniture and avoiding her eyes when she was in the same room.

Sarah found herself spending more time away from her own house and alternating between sleeping at Nazz and Jimmy's apartments. This particular night was no good, however. Double D had Nazz booked for a romantic date night and Jimmy was out of town visiting relatives.

"Don't worry, it's just one night," Nazz reassured her.

"Easy for you to say, you won't be alone," Sarah replied sullenly.

The two were sitting in Nazz's bedroom, resting after a long day of shopping as Nazz prepared for her date. Being with her best friend helped Sarah get her mind off Eddy, but only temporarily. She had finally told Nazz what happened by the lake and Nazz was just as surprised as Eddy had been.

"You need to talk to him." Nazz advised her friend.

"how when he's brick-walling me?" Sarah replied, fidgeting with her hair. "He's not interested, why else would he be acting like this?"

"Well, it is a lot to take in," replied the blonde. "Even I'm still processing!"

Sarah sighed "I shouldn't have told him. I'm so stupid…! "

Nazz turned from doing her makeup and sat by the edge of the bed where her friend was perched, disheartened. She rubbed her back, "You're overthinking this," she said. "Just give him time. It's not like he said he wasn't interested. "

"He might as well have!" Sarah mumbled, now playing with the corner of the comforter.

Nazz cooed and gave her a hug, even though Sarah didnt think it helped matters much. Nazz was a hugger and she usually did it to make herself feel better for not fixing the problem. The younger female was still glad she had her to talk to about all of this. If she had kept all that information to herself she would have gone insane.

There was a knock on the front door.

"That must be Double D, and I'm not even dressed yet!" Nazz said, quickly returning to her dressing table.

"I'll go get the door," Sarah offered. She heard Nazz yell her gratitude from the hallway of the apartment.

When she opened the door, she saw Edd standing there in a well fitted tuxedo that had a white jacket and tie with black slacks. He looked handsome. He had replaced his lanky childhood stature with a manlier, muscular and lean frame; it was coupled with neatly shaven raven hair and a well-trimmed fuzz on his chin. His piercing brown eyes hid behind small rectangular glasses that didn't deduct from his good looks.

The man's smile faltered a bit when he saw that it wasn't Nazz who had answered, he lowered his hands that had flowers and chocolate in them. "Hello Sarah," he said politely. "I wasn't aware you'd be here."

"Well I am, but unfortunately I won't be joining you on your date," Sarah said, walking back to Nazz's room and leaving the door open for Double D to follow.

When she went back into the room, Nazz was in the bathroom, probably curling her hair. Double D sat by her desk and put down the gifts he came bearing. Sarah took this chance to get his opinion on her situation.

"Hey, Double D, I have a hypothetical question," she began, sitting cross legged on Nazz's bed.

"Okay," he said adjusting his glasses and leaning in to listen carefully.

"So I have this friend...you don't know her... she likes this guy and she told him but he didnt say anything back to her and he's now avoiding her."

Sarah looked at Edd for any hint of bad news, he just nodded to signify he was paying attention.

"Do you think he's interested or not?" She concluded.

"Did the guy tell your friend he was not interested in her?" He asked.

"No."

"Is he in a relationship?"

"No."

"They're both single?"

"Yup," Sarah said, hoping he didn't have any more questions.

"Did your 'friend' expect him to say he liked her too when she told him about feelings?"

Sarah stopped and had to think about that one, maybe? Yes? No?

"I ... I don't know." She replied slowly, staring at the carpet.

"Hmm," Double D began. "In my personal opinion, she just caught him off guard. He's probably sorting through his feelings for her."

"That's what I said too," Nazz said, emerging from the bathroom in a strapless black mid-thigh dress and matching heels.

She had her hair tied up and her bangs were freshly curled. Her pearly whites sparkled as she smiled at her boyfriend "Hi," she said to him, giving a little twirl. "How do I look?"

Double D went to embrace her, placing a kiss on her cheek. He handed her the presents "you look amazing... these are for you."

"Awww, Double D you shouldn't have!" She kissed his lips. "They're beautiful. Lemmi put them in some water before we leave."

The three went into her small kitchen and Nazz got a vase to put the fresh flowers in.

"Your friend should be a bit patient with this guy," Double D informed Sarah. "Sometimes the male brain can be slow when it comes to these things."

"So should I -I mean she- talk to him about it?" Sarah asked.

"No," Double D said and Nazz said "Yes." at the same time. Sarah looked between both of them and they laughed.

"Guess you're gonna have to figure that out yourself, " Edd concluded.

Sarah blushed when he said 'yourself'. He knew she was talking about herself. At least he wouldn't know who the guy was unless Eddy told him. Nazz was sworn to secrecy.

"Well, I should go," she said. "Have fun you two."

...

On the drive back home, Sarah tried not to think why Eddy was being such a standoffish jerk. Maybe she shouldn't have said a thing to him about her feelings. She hated every single moment she spent wondering what she had done wrong, it was like she was worse off now than before.

It was 8pm when she arrived back home to see Eddy's car parked outside the apartment.

She entered the kitchen and found him ransacking the fridge. Her brother was in his bedroom with his girlfriend as usual. She figured that was the reason Eddy was grabbing food alone; he didn't want to be part of their couple activities. Plus Eddy rarely ever made meals at his place.

He had clearly just come from work because he was still wearing his suit slacks, but the tie was discarded. The strawberry haired girl decided she'd be brave and at least talk to him, but she wasn't going to bring up her confession, lest she appear desperate.

"You know you could just order in at your own place," Sarah informed him.

Eddy took a sip of his beer and put the plate of leftovers in the microwave, not facing her "Takeout's are a waste of money, and they are unhealthy," he said. "Also, May's always cooking food that you two don't finish."

"Right," Sarah replied. "So… how are you?"

"Good," Eddy replied, now facing her and eating the warmed chicken a la king leftovers. "Work's kinda crazy. But everything's dandy."

"Oh, cool," Sarah said, grabbing a packet of chips from the cabinet. She really didn't want to stay too long in the same room as him because she didn't trust herself to not bring up the lake confession. The last thing she wanted was to come across as one of those clingy girls. It would be pathetic and embarrassing.

She had begun to leave when Eddy said coolly "What are you doing tonight?"

"Probably watching movies on Netflix," Sarah replied, leaning on the door.

"Wan go grab something to eat and a couple of drinks?" he asked confidently, still munching away at his meal, gaze fixed on her.

"What, now?" asked Sarah, unsure of how to react. A part of her was excited this was even happening. That he was here, talking to her, asking her to go grab something to eat and a couple of drinks.

"Want me to take a backseat to Netflix?" he asked, finishing the meal. "Come on, I'll even pay for everything."

Sarah grinned, noting how hard it must have been for him to even say that. Eddy had always been as stingy with the funds as they came.

"So, like a date?" asked Sarah, her eyebrows raised in defiance.

Eddy shrugged "Are you going to make me beg?" he asked, now putting the plate in the dishwasher.

"Alright, alright," Sarah said. "But I need to take a shower first; it's been a long day. I'll be down in twenty minutes."

Eddy didn't have a chance to reply before she dashed upstairs.

What the hell was he doing, he asked himself.

This was Sarah! The same Sarah who taunted him his whole childhood and a good part of his adult years. This was the same Sarah who claimed to hate him and never hesitated to let him know when given the chance. The same Sarah who called out his scams when he was a teenager. The same Sarah he thought was a spoilt entitled brat... the same Sarah he couldn't get out of his mind for the past two weeks.

He headed to the living room, checking business related emails and trying to block out the sounds of May and Ed's lovemaking in the adjacent room.

Ed would probably flip if he knew he was going on a 'date' with his precious baby sister. However, Eddy figured what he didn't know couldn't hurt him. In his defence, Eddy felt like this was the only way he would probably come to his senses concerning Sarah. Ignoring her sure as hell hadn't worked; every time he saw her he fought the urge to pin her down and kiss her soft lips.

She was all he could think about over the last two weeks and he wanted to ensure that this was all a huge misunderstanding. That it was all in his head. He needed to make sure that he and Sarah were in fact completely incompatible. Then he could move on with his life, screw other women and when he finally graduated, move to New York City.

"Hey," she called from the doorway, interrupting his thoughts of her.

Standing there was the slim young woman donning a short, tight red dress with lace detail on the shoulders and a pair of red six inch heels.

Eddy swallowed hard and swore inside his head. There was a good chance his plan of him forgetting Sarah by taking her on a date would not work. Any idea that she was a baby was completely gone from his head and he wondered if he would make it through the night without dying of a heart attack.

"Wow, Half-Pint," he said, mouth agape.

The sexual tension made the atmosphere thick with lust. Her eyes looked up at him expectantly and she bit her lip like she did when she was nervous. "Too much?"

"Uhh. No," he said, standing. "You look sexy. Plus I'm wearing this monkey suit so I guess you look fine."

Sarah smiled, extra pleased with herself when she noted Eddy eyeing her petite frame. He ushered her to his car, a black Audi A5 and opened the door for her.

...

"Where are we going?" Sarah asked.

"Don't worry about that," he said. "Just focus on looking pretty. You'll see when we get there."

Eddy drove in a comfortable silence to a restaurant where he had a large tab and knew the owner of the place

That way, he could get an instant reservation where some other people had to wait four weeks for a seat by the bar.

"Ah, Eddy!" A heavyset man with a thick French accent greeted him like they were long lost brothers. "Where have you been, mon ami?"

"Making money," Eddy said charmingly, shaking the man's hand.

"I see that… luxury car, fine suits and a beautiful lady on your hand," the man smiled widely at Sarah, taking her hand and kissing it. "Eddy knows how to pick the beautiful ones."

Sarah smiled, blushing a bit at the compliment.

"This is Sarah," Eddy introduced. "Sarah, this is Pierre, one of the best chefs and restaurateur in the country."

"Aw, Enchante" the man said to Sarah, then he asked "Table for two?"

"Yes, please," Eddy said. The man went to enquire something by reception, and left the two standing in the fine restaurant. He was back in a matter of seconds. "Right this way, please."

As he led them down a corridor long corridor, Eddy took Sarah's hand in his. She smiled at this unexpected gesture, enjoying how well their hands fit together.

The young woman was pleasantly surprised by the beautiful scenery on the balcony; the warm summer air danced about the Parisian styled restaurant, vines were intertwined with lights on the surrounding walls in an intricate pattern and a violinist played beautiful melodies for them.

It was stuffy inside and Sarah was glad that they got to sit outside. To add to the charm, not only was their table secluded so that it was just the two of them, they had a beautiful view of the metropolis and the wide open skies filled with bright stars.

Eddy pulled out her chair for her and he took his before a waiter handed them the menus.

"I recommend the special today, the finest imported ingredients in our surprise main dish. It will certainly not disappoint… and a bottle of our finest wine is on the house," the restauranteur said. "It's the least I can do for the man who saved my business and his lady."

Eddy smiled thankfully "Merci boucoup, Pierre."

"If there is anything at all you need," Pierre informed. "Just let me know."

"Thank you," Sarah said. When he was left, Eddy began scanning through the menu options and Sarah just sat there, staring at him.

He looked up, and noticed her shy smile "What?" He asked.

"You saved that man's business?" she asked.

"Yeah. His restaurant chain was going to go bankrupt," he explained. "Gave a bit of the good ol' Eddy financial advice."

"…Looks like you're not such a huge loser after all."

He laughed and graciously took the compliment. Instead of going back to his menu, the older man held her gaze for a few seconds and she felt butterflies in her tummy, the same butterflies she felt by the lake.

She looked down shyly and went through the options just to avoid looking into his dark, perfect and very intimidating eyes. Everything on the menu looked so expensive and exotic.

She'd always known the more cunning of the Eds to be a penny pincher, so all the more reason she couldn't believe he was really doing this.


	6. Sin

**_Sin_**

"Who knew Eddy could be so nice," Sarah teased out loud, sipping on some of sweet, matured wine.

"Well don't go around telling people," Eddy replied nonchalantly. "This may be a once off thing for all you know."

Sarah said "Maybe I should kiss you more often then."

He smirked "Maybe you should. " he replied. "Nothing gets you free dinners like kisses."

She blushed, embarrassed at what she had implied of herself. Eddy quickly noted this and changed the subject, the flirtatious banter was sexy but the last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable "So what do you usually spend your summers doing?"

The first meal arrived as he asked and they ate while she spoke "Hanging out with my friends or reading," she told him. "I have a list of class books I've been meaning to get through before next semester."

"You read school literature for fun?" he asked, more concerned than impressed – even though he tried not to sound so. "…or is it like some sort of prerequisite thing?"

"No, I just like being on top of things," she explained.

_I'll bet_ Eddy thought pervertedly, nodding and digging into his meal.

He listened intently as she explained to him the material she was reading. Although he cared nothing for the actual books, he found himself engrossed by the way she spoke.

"Interesting," he lied, now wanting to hear the juicier bits of her existence. "…Tell me, does Sarah always get inappropriately drunk whenever alcohol is around?"

The blonde smiled, twirling her glass and giving Eddy a look that he interpreted as one of flirtatious intention. Sipping her expensive red wine, as if to make a point, she replied "You planning on taking advantage of me?"

Sarah was downing the finely aged 1940 burgundy wine like it was cool-aide, not that Eddy was planning on telling her what not to drink or especially how much of it. She felt special to be showered with such expensive attention.

"I don't need to. I think you know I'm attracted to you by now. If you want me, all you have to do is ask. If not, no hard feelings Half-Pint…" he said coolly. "But I sure as hell ain't one to force myself onto anybody."

Sarah could feel her cheeks heat up from his blunt response and she involuntarily sighed, not realising she had held her breath as he said those words. Damn - Eddy always had a way of rendering her speechless. Her! Ever so talkative Sarah!

"So… how is work?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Work is ok. I was thinking of moving to New York to expand my horizons," he told her as the final dish - a complicated sounding and looking dessert – was placed before them. "It's been a dream of mine for as long as I could remember."

"When will you be going?" asked Sarah like she didn't already know the answer to the question from all the times she had eavesdropped on him telling his friends the plan.

"When I graduate," he said. "Then hopefully I never have to step foot in this godforsaken town again."

Sarah attempted a smile, she liked this 'godforsaken town' he was so anxious to leave. "You better make sure you graduate then."

"Oh, don't worry. If I'm struggling I'll just ask you to tutor me," he said. "I heard you were taking extra credit?"

"What? From where?"

"Ed." He said grinning. "The guy gushes over you so much - he's real proud."

"Oh, yea. I guess," she said. "I'm just taking four extra classes."

"_Just_ four extra?" Eddy repeated, impressed. "Little Sarah's a bookworm."

She blushed "Like I said, I like staying two steps ahead."

"Then that makes you my kinda woman" he winked at her. His expression turned serious momentarily and he said "Listen, about the last couple of weeks…"

"No need to explain, Eddy," she said, suddenly both embarrassed about it but anxious to hear what he had to say. "It's not like I was waiting by my phone for you to call or anything."

He squinted at her, trying to figure out if that was a joke or not. "Were you?"

"No! God, no," she retorted.

He gave a small smile and looked at his dessert fork, twirling it "Would have been nice..."

Sarah watched his wishful look and wondered how often he pulled that one on the ladies. It tugged at her heart strings. Much as she tried she was unable to trust anything that came out of his perfect, perfect lips.

"The last couple of weeks I've been thinking about what you said by the lake. About liking me," he began.

Sarah's heart leapt into her throat and she froze. It was all she could do from fainting.

Here it came, the answer she had waited so long to hear. She bit her lip and waited. There was a 50% chance of rejection… and if it came to pass she did not want it delivered like this. Here in a beautiful restaurant with an amazing view, amazing food and even more amazing wine.

"…and I guess I needed some space to sort through my feelings for you," he continued to say, although she had missed a good part of his speech. "It's confusing because you're my friend's _little_ sister, you're younger – we're in different places in our lives - we haven't exactly been the best of friends growing up and with me leaving I didn't know if I could allow myself to be with someone only to leave at the end of six months…."

She didn't say anything, she just continued to wait.

What was he trying to say? Was he letting her down easily? It sure as hell felt like it. It felt like he had brought her here just to tell her to go run off and play with boys her own age.

"And I like you. I think you're smart and gorgeous. I'm definitely attracted to you," he explained. "That's why I kind of feel like it'd be a better call if we took this slowly, I really don't want to break your heart or anything like that."

There was a moment of silence, and Sarah stared out into the horizon. She was officially confused. Did taking it slowly mean forget her feelings? Was he saying he wanted to share something but didn't want to be attached to her?

"So, we forget all this?" she clarified.

He sighed, then clarified "No, we just act normal and see where this all goes."

She thought she got it. She really did. But she didn't, not one bit. She finished her dessert in silence and he paid the bill and by then she was royally trashed from the wine. How he was still sober was a complete mystery.

"Wanna go watch Netflix at my place?" he suggested.

"Yeah, Ed would totally freak if I came back dressed like this. He'd also probably demand to know who I was with and call around to see if I'm lying."

...

By the time they arrived at Eddy's bachelor apartment, Sarah was abuzz with energy. Unbeknownst from where. Maybe the wine. Maybe the excitement of going to his house. Maybe both.

She had talked the whole way back about anything she could think of, and Eddy would tease her about her alcohol tolerance.

"Gee and I thought you were loud sober," he said.

"You just can't admit you love the sound of my voice," she said, sticking her tongue out.

"Contrary to popular belief... I actually do," he replied as they drove into the garage of his place.

Eddy's whole apartment was about the size of Sarah's and Nazz's combined.

It had wide open spaces filled with evidence that a man lived here… alone. Art pieces and no frames of family around littered the walls and he had an L shaped leather couch set and flat screen TV that was mounted on display. Gaming consoles were mounted into the walls and he even had a shelf of games that hung nearby.

There was a record player complete with collector's editions records in a corner, and mini library with books on corporate finance and business nearby. The floor was tiled and pristine, everything clean from the glass coffee table between the couch and TV to the white rug under it.

His kitchen was modern and fitted with the latest appliances and gadgets; Sarah was surprised he rarely used it. The dining room sat about 8 people and was made of a glass table with luxury chairs for guests to sit around and have meals.

"Welcome to my humble abode," he said, locking the door behind him.

Sarah's mouth was ajar, "You live here?!"

"Like I said… it's not much," he said casually. "Make yourself comfortable, Half-Pint."

She sat on the couch, hands on her lap, looking around amazed and unsure how to behave. A short while later he returned with 2 sodas, a blanket and a bowl filled with popcorn.

"Now we get cosy," He announced, removing his jacket. His broad shoulders looked attractive, what more with the rolled up sleeves that showed off his masculine arms.

Eddy switched the light off and turned on the television from a single remote, accessing the Internet from the HD TV and scrolling for a good movie. When they had argued about which one to watch, the settled for Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.

Sarah had taken her shoes off and sat comfortably under the comforter, not eating because she was so full. "Hey, I have a confession," she said drunkenly.

He laughed "Jesus, Sarah, how many bombs you gon drop on a guy?"

"I'm sorry, this is the very last one… I think…" she said, giggling and facing him. "Ready?"

"Shoot," he said, opening his soda.

"I really didn't get what you meant in the restaurant about taking it slow. Did you mean we could see each other or you don't want to be with me at all?"

"I meant we don't do anything either one of us will regret," he explained slowly like he was talking to a toddler. "Like-"

She stopped him with a passionate kiss. When she pulled away, his mind was blank, unable to remember his train of thought.

"Like that?" she asked.

"Sarah, you really shouldn't do that…" he tried to explain, a gleam of frustration sparkling in his eyes as if he was doing his best to resist the urge to kiss her back. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was taking advantage of her because of the date. He was sleazy but he respected virgins. Too bad this drunk one was vying to prove him wrong.

She proceeded to straddle him, her dress pooling by her waist and he almost didn't know how to react "Or else what?"


	7. Want

**_Want_**

Eddy's breathing had deepened significantly, he was momentarily caught off guard.

The girl had a way of rendering him speechless through her haphazard actions. He was both impressed at her boldness and tired at the persistence. This was not the way this was going to happen, he decided... if it _was_ even going to happen.

For god's sake, this was spoilt, bratty Sarah! Where had _that_ girl gone?

_She's Ed's sister_ he reminded himself.

Looking up at her he now saw a new creature. A beautiful, naïve, drunk and enamoured teenager. She was in a position where he didn't pride her for being in: being taken advantage of. Making it too easy for him.

Sure, he was greedy and corrupt to the core, oftentimes without giving it a second thought, and sure his morals were questionable, but even he had boundaries. And this was one of them.

And yet… _she_ was the one on top of him. _She_ was the one 'in like' with him. _She_ was the one who wanted this, just like she wanted the kiss by the lake. _She_ was the one who kept making it clear how much she wanted him. This was all her call. He wouldn't be breaking any law if he let himself have this victory, he reasoned.

_…But this is Ed's fucken sister! _Eddy argued in his head again.

To make matters worse he remembered how recently he was more than ready to get his from her before she revealed she was a virgin in love. So what had changed? Well, just that. He hated the words "virgin" and "in-love" isolated but together he knew they were a recipe for disaster, especially since he was the object of said affection.

And yet...

"Or else what?" she had practically purred on his lap.

"This is what I mean by something we might regret," he said throatily, forcing his hands to remain by his sides. Forcing his mind elsewhere. Anywhere but here. He wasn't going to give in, not now.

"I'm not going to regret it," she said softly and innocently.

_Eddy fucken hell this is Ed's __precious baby sister__!_ His conscious begged.

She had begun to trace the outline of his chest, caressing him through the thin material of his shirt and rubbing his neck softly. He watched her carefully, his expression blunt and she smiled, leaning in, making it painfully obvious that she wanted him to kiss her.

He took her beauty in. Her scent was heavenly and her skin felt like silk. She felt good, sure. The perfect fit for his hands. She felt ... untouched.

He didn't want to feel like this.

This wasn't even the way this night was supposed to have happened. He had wanted to convince himself that this was just a phase, a momentary lapse in reason… some huge misunderstanding; but it hadn't worked. It was actually failing. Dismally.

As much as he was failing, he couldn't help but feel a spark with her.

Definitely deeper than most other flings he had had. He rarely had a soft side for the women he hooked up with. He never cared to develop such deep, unconditional feelings. But spending four hours with her tonight had only proved one thing. With Sarah, he genuinely cared. He hated it but he couldn't help it. He wanted to protect her and do right by her.

His mouth finally met hers gently in a chaste kiss.

Her eyes swam in the dim lighting of the room when they parted and begged him for more. He couldn't bear to deny her even the simplest request, so he gave in. He'd waited all this time for a repeat of the lakeside kiss and found it to be much better than the first time, so he allowed his hands to wonder across her luscious, soft thighs.

He was conflicted. He cursed himself as he worshipped her taste, her feel, her presence.

He pulled her closer, pushing himself deeper onto her as his crotch met her heated one. It drove him into a frenzy but with uncharacteristic self-control he never even knew he had, he prematurely broke off the kiss, still gripping her waist.

He swore at himself for what he was about to do "Sarah…" he began, sounding more disappointed at himself than anything. "The movie… let's watch."

Sarah rose an eyebrow, her heart stung by his reaction. She was certain he had been enjoying himself, why did he stop? She got off him and sat on the couch, fixing her dress and said "I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked, turning from the movie introduction.

"Throwing myself at you like that," she confessed. "I'm stupid."

"No, you're not," he replied. "I realize how this might seem… I get you drinks and supper and bring you back to my place… but I can't… we can't… you're not in the right mindset for…."

Sarah blushed both in anger and embarrassment.

This guy really didn't like her as much as she wanted, she concluded.

Who the hell did he think he was to even tell her what kind of mindset she was in? All the other guys from her class would have jumped at the opportunity to be her first but the one person she wanted was telling her 'no'. This was a new turn; she had never experienced this kind of rejection before and it hurt. A lot.

"You know what?" she said her tone hurt and malicious, the old Sarah coming out. "Agh, just forget it. I'm such an idiot for even liking a pretentious jerk like you. You think you know better because you think you have everything all figured it out but I'm starting to feel like this was all a huge mistake. I never should have told you how I felt!"

"Wait, what?" Eddy asked, taken aback by her rant, his own annoyance emerging. "Why are you making this seem like it's my fault?"

"Because it is!"

"Because I won't sleep with you?" he scoffed, like she was flipping her cap.

She blushed at what he said. It wasn't supposed to seem like that but he made her angry and now he had the audacity to turn it on her! Like she was the one being unreasonable?

Sarah crossed her arms across her chest "I just wanna go home. Now." She sulked.

Eddy shook his head, the whole situation quite insane to him. There was the old Sarah he knew. Little Miss Entitled to Everything "Seriously?"

He looked at her and at this point she wasn't even facing him, but she sure as hell looked serious about her decision.

Sarah wanted to both cry and hit him. She wanted to curse herself for even developing feelings for him. Of course he wouldn't just give her everything she wanted. He was selfish and rude and stingy. A part of her felt like they were running out of time. Soon, he would be gone and all they would have done was fight and have steamy kisses, nothing more.

She wanted him to have her before he left for good. She knew that once Eddy went to New York, they would never see each other again... or at least not for a very long time. She was scared at the prospect and she wanted him to know how much it hurt her, but never could tell him that that was what was really bothering her.

She hated that he acted as if she was nothing to him, and yet he was her everything. She was trying to make it easy and obvious for him to be with her, but it was just blowing up on her.

She quickly rubbed the tear from her eyes carefully so as to not rub the mascara off before he flipped the light switch on. Standing, she grabbed her purse and marched out of the room through the door Eddy held out for her.

She regretted her decision once she sat in his car.

They were riding in silence for a good minute before he cleared his throat.

"I didn't mean to offend you," he said.

She said nothing, so he continued "I don't want to rush any of this. I've never been with …"

"A virgin?" she finished.

"No." he said, glancing at her. He took her hand with one of his and rubbed his fingers on her soft skin. "I've never been with someone I liked this way. I actually want to do things right with you."

Sarah bit her bottom lip, touched at his words. Maybe she had overreacted. Maybe they _do_ needed to take it slow. She kicked herself for acting unreasonable and demanding to go home. Maybe she should take it back and they could return to his place?

Just then, Eddy's phone began to ring through the speakers in his car and because it was on hands-free mode, after two rings it answered by itself.

"Eddy?" came a very drunk sounding female voice on the other end. "Eddy, are you there?"

Eddy had wanted to reach for the phone as soon as he recognized the voice but both hands were now on the steering wheel, dangerous to handle the phone. He'd had to deal with one too many insurance claims for people who had gotten into accidents related to handling cellphones while on the wheel and he did not want to be a statistic. Mostly; he didn't want to risk Sarah's life.

"Hey," he said reluctantly, hoping she wasn't calling for a quickie or some dumb shit like that.

"Eddy, I didn't know who to call," Lee's voice cracked and slurred like she was crying. A drunken hiccup also signalled that she was intoxicated.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Are you ok?"

Sarah recognized the voice and wasn't sure what to make of any of this. Had they always had this type of relationship? Were they still together? Had they made up after the lake? Was he lying? Was Eddy really still in love with her? Was he lying about how he felt about her? She had so many questions and she could tell Eddy was trying to act unphased but his expression seemed… worried.

Suddenly, Sarah did not feel as special any more.

"No, I'm not." She said. "I… there's this guy he's hurting me and he tore my dress and…"

She cried on the phone and Sarah felt terrible for feeling angry at her for calling.

"What?" asked Eddy. "Where are you, Lee?"

"That old pub by sixth downtown," she said. "Please hurry Eddy, he's gonna be back any minute now and I'm so scared!"

"I'm on my way," he said determinedly.

By this time, they had arrived outside Sarah's house and he stopped the car, although he didn't turn off the engine.

"I'm sorry about that," he said finally after moments of silence. "She doesn't have anyone else. She gets involved in crazy shit like this and I usually have to go save her."

Save, huh?

"I understand, goodnight," she said shyly, stepping out of the car.

He didn't drive off until he saw that she was inside the house. She knew he had been watching her, probably trying to guess what was going through her mind.

He made a mental note to explain it to her and make it up to her.

The car sped off, forgetting the speed limit.

Lee's tendencies to get involved with the wrong crowd was what Eddy hated most about her. Actually, he had a lot of things he hated about her but this took the prize. He did, however, understand why she acted out.

He knew a lot of this had to do with what was going on in her life...

He knew she had had an abusive childhood, and he sympathized with her, so he found a psychologist for her. He knew she had nowhere to go aside from her father's rundown trailer that she shared with her step siblings, so he had helped her get a job so she could stand on her own two feet.

He knew she struggled with various addictions, so he offered to pay for the best treatment money could buy. He knew she was in desperate need for real friends, and overtime, he unwittingly became that for her. He detested the fact that she chose him of all people because it always led into these situations. And yet, never once did he deny her his help or support. He never second guessed being by her side in her time of need.

She was fucked up.

And you could say he was too, so he knew how much she needed the shoulder to cry on during long nights.

Sarah had tiptoed to her bedroom, thankful that her older brother was nowhere in the house to meet her arrival. She threw herself on her bed and cried. The man she loved had both professed his interest and rejected her in the same hour. And now, he was on his way to be his ex's knight in shining armour.

She cried. If he was saving her, who would save Sarah?


	8. Ailmony

**Alimony**

_Purple is the color of two_

_Tied in bows of uncertainty_

_She casts a look to her lover_

_He's strong, courageous of heart_

_He'd kill any demon that tore her_

_And yet as he was I and I was she_

_I saw the only monster he couldn't defeat_

_Was himself_

The effortless sound of Eddy's high performance car buzzed through the early morning as he raced downtown, surpassing the speed limit on wide, empty roads. It was the only comforting sound around. The only thing keeping him from screaming profanities.

Lee's agitated voice was replaying in his head and he couldn't help but think of the worst case scenario; the girl was a magnet for shady drug dealers and underworld criminals with less than pure intentions.

Sarah's disappointed look fleeted in his mind as well.

She had attempted to hide her confusion and hurt from Lee's call but Eddy hadn't missed it from the corner of his eye. He really hated that the night had ended the way it had.

Pushing the younger woman's memory aside was the scene that Eddy made when they were by the lake. Particularly the part when he told Lee off. Sure Eddy needed her gone in the moment but he didn't want her dead.

The girl was a bed of marshmallows inside. She always took shit like this personally. Unfortunately, fights like that acted as triggers for her promiscuity and heavy drug usage.

This was not the first time he was going to play superman either. It annoyed Eddy how reckless she was with herself; his mind reeled as he reiterated images of the numerous times he had gone to pick her up from different clubs at the crack of dawn in a pool of her own vomit.

The last time she overdosed on unregistered, illegal pills. She nearly died; he remembered watching in a panicked haze as the paramedics tended to her. At some point she flat lined and become clinically dead for two minutes until they managed to resuscitate.

You would never hear him say it, but those were the most terrifying two minutes of his life.

See, when it came to Lee, Eddy always experienced extremes. There were never calms. He was always either extremely mad, extremely in hate, extremely attracted to her or extremely feeling bad for her.

That's not to say they never had any good times.

Lee had redeeming qualities such as her humour and intelligence. If she wasn't making him laugh or debating about economic theories no one could have guessed she knew in a million years, she was listening to and giving him thought provoking advice on life.

When it was good it was great. When it was bad, he felt like ripping her head off.

Sometimes they'd argue, get into physical altercations and he'd storm out, vowing never see her face again. Days, maybe weeks later, he would return. Perhaps for sex and that thing she did with her tongue. Perhaps for a warm body to sleep next to. Perhaps for someone to hear him talk. The reasons always changed. He'd apologize and Lee would challenge him, sparking another heated battle. For the most part, he'd let her have the victory, he knew how to pick his battles with her. By the end of the night, he'd be in her bed, on his back growling her name as she straddled him, cooing in satisfaction.

They had normalized this type of behaviour for so long that it had become a part of their dysfunctional 'friendship'. Routine, if you will. Eddy resented how easy it was for him to give into the cycle. He couldn't stop and he didn't know why. None of it was healthy or conducive for a normal relationship.

Again, he thought of Sarah who represented a fresh start for a healthy relationship. But he knew he was not right for her by any means.

She would have been the perfect girl had it been the right time or even if he was someone completely different.

He felt like she deserved better and he wasn't it. He knew he'd spend more time compensating for how much of a fuck up he was if he let his feelings take over.

Eddy knew what she was doing; he was able to read her like an open book. She wanted him to be the one to pop her cherry. That was the reason he held back from giving into her sexual advances. He knew she would use it against him, unlike Lee who just used sex to get off - for enjoyment's sake. He also knew the difference between sex with Sarah and sex with Lee would be how much of a hold Sarah could potentially have on him.

Dilapidated, flashing neon lights announced Eddy's eventual arrival to the dingy pub that rest behind a sixties themed diner. He parked right by the motel opposite it and walked determinedly to the pub.

A bell announcing the young man's regular presence. Intimidating stares and murmurs from the regular crowd of tricenarians were cast in his direction. The place wasn't full by any standard, but the amount of smoke being produced inside was thick and palatable. The men knew what he had come for, so they signed him off, returning to their game of pool without giving the familiar stranger a second glance.

Eddy surveyed the place, both trying to spot her and figure out if anything was out of place; there was no sign of any altercation preceding his arrival. No sign was a good sign he concluded. Everything seemed normal, save for Lee's absence.

He nodded a greeting to the old bartender and as he opened his mouth to ask, the man told him "She in the stalls... been drinking since afternoon and a coupla' guys tried to single her out but I asked them to leave," he explained in a thick southern accent. "Ain't want no ruckus in my bar."

"Thanks," Eddy said, handing the man a solid fifty although he really didn't have to. "Where is she?"

He nodded to the female bathrooms. "She refused to come out."

Before Eddy took another step towards the bathroom, the man glared at him, intent on delivering the message with as much emphasis as possible "You had better keep an eye out for her, I seen girls like her raped an' murdered on the side of the road one too many times in my lifetime."

Eddy nodded, taking back the wrist the man had fiercely grabbed and rubbing it. For an old person, he sure had quite the grip on him.

"Lee?" Eddy called, pushing past the creaking wooden door of the female bathrooms. "Lee, are you in here?"

All the stalls were wide open except for one that was closed, seeming locked shut. He figured she was in there because he saw her shadow beneath the door. Knocking on it, he called out her name softer and out came her groggy and drunk moans of pain.

"Eddy," she replied so quietly he may not have heard had he not been leaning right by the door.

There was an unlatching noise from inside. He opened the door and saw her sitting on top of the closed toilet basin, her head bowed on her legs. She looked up weakly, her eyes glazed over and not focusing. She looked like shit but she still managed to smile at him "You came..?"

He looked upon her with sympathy but didn't reply her obvious question. With practiced effort and strength, he picked her up with no problem, carrying her bridal style. She smelt of tobacco, vomit and cheap vodka.

Eddy felt her rest her head against his neck, her breath warm on his skin. When they were outside, he noticed that she was fast asleep in his arms. He sighed, deciding that it might just be best to book a motel room. He yawned. Lee had the right idea to call it a night. He had had a long day and was not up to driving for another hour; he desperately needed some shut eye.

…

The motel room assigned to them looked like it had not been decorated since the sixties. Either that or whoever had the task to decorate it was a colour blind, fashion challenged sadist.

What the overall room lacked in style it made for in convenient pricing. One double bed was in the middle of the room in front of an old tube television set and a DVD player. A small bathroom was on the left side of the room, adjacent to a makeshift kitchen; the flashing of the neon lights and vibrations of light evening traffic made it evident how close they were to the highway.

"I'm going to puke!" Lee announced as she staggered to the bathroom, nearly falling on her heels.

Eddy watched as she made futile attempts to walk so he helped her to the bathroom where she proceeded to heave up all the alcoholic beverages that she had consumed.

Some got on her dress and hair, despite Eddy's best attempt at keeping her hair back.

He ran a bath of warm water into the wide tub. Lee had by now closed the toilet lid and leaned her upper body lazily over it, breathing heavily from the expulsion of the toxins from her system. Every now and then, she heaved from all the alcohol still in her system but he stayed beside her, rubbing her back and resorting to braid her hair into a fishtail to keep it from being entangled in any more mess.

"Come here, brush your teeth," he lifted her near the counter and handed her a toothbrush with paste on it and she washed out the stink of the night, surrendering the tears she had been holding back ever since he found her in the pub.

"...There was this one guy... He had a gun and he was going to rape me," she told him, shaking and looking at the sink in complete embarrassment. "I screamed kicked him off but couldn't... I... if it wasn't for that old bar guy I really don't know what would have become of me."

She rinsed out her mouth and wiped away stray tears, her eye makeup smearing boldly on her face. Eddy sighed, and looked at her bowed head. He felt terrible and partially guilty for what she was going through. She didn't deserve this kind of life, all these addictions ... No one did.

Embracing her into a tight consoling hug, he said "It's ok now."

She sobbed on his shoulder for what seemed like hours and then pulled away, eyes puffy and dried out "I really need this bath, I feel so dirty, " she said, smiling feebly. "Guess I'm gon' have to wear this again."

Eddy looked at the dress which was dirty and partly torn, then removed his work shirt, remaining with a vest on and placed it on the rack beside the tub "Wear this tonight, I'll get you clothes from the convenient store down the road tomorrow. "

Lee looked at him like he was the best thing that had happened to her. It was true. He really was. Sometimes the kindness he showed to her was a stark difference from his greed and unscrupulous nature when it came to money and power. That's how she knew she loved him. Because deep down inside Eddy was a gentleman and he really did care about the people in his life. Including her, otherwise he would not have bothered to even come to her rescue, no matter how many fall outs they had.

"Thank you."

He nodded and left the bathroom, closing the door.

…

Lee looked at the fuzzy reflection of herself in the mirror fogged up by bath vapor.

She had no makeup on and her hair recently shampooed and blown dry hair had reverted to its natural bouncy state that she hated. She had looked around for a hot iron but found none, so she tied it back into a loose ponytail.

And still she hated the way she looked.

She felt vulnerable.

Every time she had seen Eddy she had some sort of makeup on her and it always made her look gorgeous but now with nothing to show for but her natural looks, she didn't know how he'd react or if he'd think she wasn't as pretty. It's funny that of all the things that had happened to her tonight, this was what was stressing her out the most. She should be reevaluating her life and where it was headed, but no… she only had him and what he thought on her mind.

It was one thing being with your ex-boyfriend/friend with benefits/fuck buddy …or whatever he was, alone in a motel room. It was another to have him seen your true form, something her mother always recommend against because apparently men didn't want 'nun looking' women.

Sighing and shaking the thought of her mother out of her head, she stepped out of the bathroom, just to find him perched on the bed watching the news, idly tapping his index finger by the bed like he always did. She really never knew what that meant. He did it when he was happy, sad and excited so she just figured it was an impulsive habit of his.

Eddy's shirt was big on her, and it looked more like a really short dress than a shirt. She made a conscious effort to make sure it didn't reveal way more than it should have by pulling and holding it down.

Lee walked over to her clutch bag and put in her accessories so as to not lose them and she could feel his eyes on her back.

She really didn't want to turn around and show him the real her.

She wished she was still drunk enough to go through with it but after she had purged herself from the poisons she had ingested, she was well sobered up now and it if she was to be honest, it did not feel as nice.

The red head quickly took a seat on the other side of the bed and looked forward at the TV not saying a word to her so called ex.

"You're not wearing any makeup." He pointed out.

"I know."

"It's a good look on you," he replied much to Lee's amazement. "Keep it."

She smiled, blushing slightly.

"Eddy, I'm really sorry for calling you," she began. "I mean, I'm thankful you came but I really am sorry for calling. I know you said we weren't dating and I should not act like - "

He interrupted. "This was the exception. You did say you were in trouble. "

"I guess." She said and fell silent.

After a few minutes she yawned and asked "Please hold me?

"Lee..." he started to oppose but it was her turn to interrupt him.

"I just want to feel safe in your arms, that's it." She said. "Like we used to do. Just for tonight."

He nodded and slid down to face her, arms wrapping her frame. She had switched off the television and the lamp illuminating the room by her side. They lay there unmoved until she said "I miss you."

He pretended like he hadn't heard anything but her eyes implored him to reply in the darkness. When he didn't, she moved into his frame, instead comforted by his presence.

Their breathing was in sync as they came closer, lips melting into each other's. Pretty soon their bodies followed suit, shedding Eddy's clothes that each wore and giving into the familiar passion they shared for so long...


	9. Gain

**_Gain_**

Lee's hair seemed ablaze in the early hours of the morning. Whenever the new day's rays cascaded through her mane, she looked like she had a halo of flames around her head. It only added to her allure and sensual nature.

Her ponytail was now undone and stray locks hung on her face. She had her eyes closed in concentration and was biting her lower lip, hands on his chest, legs on either side of his hips. She was a sight to behold, truly she was.

It was one thing waking up to her flawless, natural beauty; and a completely different thing waking up to her replaying the scene from last night. She was methodological; she knew his body from years of experience and it didn't take long for her to have him pinned under her.

He became distracted by the view for a moment. She really had no need for the makeup she wore daily, he thought. Her pale skin was silky to touch and even without wearing skimpy outfits anyone with eyes would be able to see the soft curvatures that her body boasted.

She changed paces – slower now. His body tensed involuntarily, liking the adjustment and he growled lowly, rubbing his hands on the exposed flesh he had been watching. These were the reasons his soul was in a constant state of uncertainty when it came to her. He always felt conflicted... unsure.

The red hair reminded him of another's. Sarah's naive face fleeted in his mind and a pang of guilt filled him. Part of him wished she was _her._

_What the fuck am I doing?_ He thought to himself.

If Sarah ever found out about this she'd run for the hills, he was sure. Maybe it was for the best. Eddy really couldn't help himself when it came to these things. The younger woman was too good, too innocent to be liking him. She didn't know what she was getting herself into by choosing to him; she didn't know the baggage of insecurities he carried, his phobia of commitment nor the impatience he had when it came to relationships.

And yet he found himself thinking more and more about the way she looked last night, her laughter and prodding brown eyes.

He looked up at Lee's face again and realized she had opened her eyes, now watching him as well. How long she had been looking at him was unknown. When their eyes met, she smiled.

The smile wasn't sultry or seductive. It wasn't even naughty or lust filled like all the other smiles she had given him in the past. This one was a knowing smile.

He wasn't sure what to make of it. He had no energy to think about what it meant or implied because he knew he'd never figure it out. She ran her finger along this neck, causing his hairs to stand on edge.

In one swift movement, he flipped them over and she was beneath him. She let out a soft giggle and kissed his cheek, as if giving him the permission to take back control of the situation.

She bit her lip again, her eyes twinkling as he took them to the familiar place of heated urges.

…

"I have to go," she said in a small voice as they both lay on their backs, panting.

It was too soon, he thought. 4am was too early. He wanted to sleep in, have a morning to just sit in bed and think… maybe even have another go at it.

When Lee rose off the bed to take a shower he grabbed his phone, quickly composing a message to the girl that had been on his mind for hours now.

He knew he would not get a reply at this time; it was a long-shot, but he was still willing to try. Every bone in his body told him to leave it as it was. Leave her broken now and spare her the pain in the future. But he just couldn't. A part of him had fast grown to need her adoration.

He knew better; regardless of all signs pointing to her demise if she ended up with him, he still wanted her. But he knew it wouldn't be easy... she was almost as stubborn as he was.

…

If it hadn't been for the splitting headache she had developed, Sarah would not have easily remembered that the previous night had happened.

That wine may have been the best thing she had ever tasted, but had she known it was going to hurt this bad she would not have drank so much of it.

She glanced at her phone. 11am.

There was a message from Eddy delivered at 0432am… _I'm really sorry about last night._

She sighed frustrated, not sure how to reply. So she didn't.

Feeling dehydrated, she got out of bed reluctantly to get water from the kitchen downstairs. Today she was going to stay in bed and nurse her hangover and shattered feelings.

She was embarrassed, hurt, heartbroken and angry at herself for ever saying yes to Eddy. The more she thought about how much of a fool she had made of herself last night, the more she wanted to cry. He was probably just using her as some sort of ego boost. She'd known him to be a person who cared about very little, why did she think she would be the first thing he'd actually have real human feelings for?

She should never had thrown herself at him like that. Because now he probably thought she was easy and that's all she wanted. She should have demanded respect like she did on all her previous dates. It was never difficult for Sarah to lay down the law when it came to guys, but with him she didn't want any boundaries. All she wanted was him.

Looking back on the situation with regret, she wondered how she was ever going to face him again. Sure he apologized but was it really enough? A part of her knew this type of thing was the norm when it came to him... Maybe she was biting off more than she could chew. She thought about abandoning her feelings and letting them die down. Pretty soon he'd be gone anyway and she wouldn't have to deal with him. She hesitated, and decided to hang onto them for her sanity's sake.

Regret swam all around her.

"How nice of you to finally join us," Ed said as Sarah fished out a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

He was sitting on the kitchen table with May, having breakfast.

Sarah purposefully ignored her older brother, but he continued "I heard you come in last night. Where were you?"

"Ed, can we not talk about this now?" Sarah asked agitated. The last thing she needed was a lecture from him.

"So when would be the best time for you, hm?" he asked, sounding intimidating. "When you're not so hungover?"

His voice was loud and making her head pound even more; she could feel it getting worse with every word he said. She definitely needed something to take for the pain "Ed please –"

"No, Sarah," Ed said, calmly but almost like he was shouting. "I could see how you were dressed last night and that you were drunk. You didn't tell me you were going out. What if something happened to you?"

"Nothing happened to me Ed!" Sarah yelled. "So quit yelling at me. I just went out with… a friend."

May was looking between her boyfriend and his sister, hopping that the argument wouldn't turn ugly.

"A _friend_?" he repeated. "Jimmy's out of town and Nazz was with Double D so I sure as hell know that it wasn't them."

"It's not like you know all my friends!" Sarah said, not bothering to mask her anger.

"You're right. I don't." he said, just as angry. "But whoever it was shouldn't be sneaking you out of the house and returning you at odd hours of the night _drunk_. And you didn't even tell me, did you think I wouldn't let you go?"

"For fuck's sake Ed, I'm an adult I don't need to run everything by you!"

"What if something bad had happened to you, Sarah, how would I even know where to look?" he demanded, now standing to challenge her. "Should I have just waited for the cops to show up and tell me my sister's body's been found in a gutter somewhere?!"

Sarah hadn't realized that she had begun to cry. Something bad did happen to her, but it wasn't murder by any measure of the word. His friend had rejected her and she was hurting because of it. Real bad. Why was she even protecting Eddy? He deserved to take the blame for this as much as she did. She knew it was pretty irresponsible to leave without telling Ed where she was going to be, and she rarely ever did it.

The younger sibling always complained about how her brother wasn't mom or dad; but then he was all the family she had left since their passing. He looked out for her, he always did because it was his responsibility. Refusing him the opportunity to protect his sister was one thing that always hurt Ed right to the core.

May placed a hand on Ed's shoulder, signalling for him to stop. His point was well put across and he softened his demeanour when he saw his sister now crying. "Sarah, I'm sorry. I –"

He did not get the chance to finish his sentence because Sarah dashed upstairs, back to her room. She had abandoned the water she had come downstairs to get.

Ed sighed frustrated, throwing his hands up "Mom and Dad trusted me with her and I screwed up."

"No, honey. You didn't," May said, rubbing his arm. "She just needs some time and space that's it."

"…But I don't get it," Ed said, looking pensive. "Why wouldn't she tell me who she was going out with?"

May gave him a look but he couldn't tell what the expression was on her face. "Like she said, she's a big girl now," she explained. "Whoever it was… she's responsible and smart enough to handle herself."

"But what if-?"

"Nothing happened to her," May reassured him gently. "She's fine, Ed."

Ed nodded, May's words were comforting and making him ease up. She rubbed his cheek and said "I'll go up and talk to her."

…

_Knock knock._

No answer.

_Knock knock knock._

Again, no answer.

"Sarah?" May called. "Can I come in?"

May stood by her door for what seemed like minutes before the younger girl opened to let her in.

"I brought you your water and some food," she said softly, placing the tray by her desk. She took the bottle of water and sat by Sarah, handing it to her. "I figured you'd be hungry and thirsty… also got advil"

"Thanks," she replied, drinking it in silence. No words were exchanged for a while until May started "He's just worried about you."

"I know." Sarah said. "I'm not upset about that it's just…"

May had been sure that was what would have upset her, but now she was interested in hearing what had gotten her so worked up. The young woman looked like she had been crying heavily evident from the red rimmed, puffy eyes and solemn look.

May really hated seeing anyone feel sad. She easily empathized with people, especially the ones she cared about and usually went out of her way to make everyone feel better if they were sad.

"Did something happen last night?" May inquired.

Sarah nodded, feeling a fresh batch of tears well up in her eyes.

"Did someone hurt you?" May asked again, now facing Sarah, her voice sounding worried.

"No. No – nothing like that," Sarah said quickly, wiping her eyes with her pajama sleeve.

"Then what, Sarah? You can tell me."

The strawberry blonde shook her head "It's just this guy. He said he liked me but he acts like he doesn't and he's still in love with his ex."

"Oh," said May knowingly. "Boy trouble?"

"I'm just confused, May. I don't get why a guy would say one thing and act in a totally different way?"

There was a momentary pause and Sarah didn't think May had the answer to her question, considering her IQ. But May said finally said "Well, sometimes guy do and say things they really don't mean to take advantage of you. It's a horrible thing to do and you'll always wonder if you could change their minds but that's just the way some guys are. You can't change it and once he sees you in a certain way the chances of him respecting you or treating you like anything else are pretty slim."

_What_? Sarah thought.

That was actually really deep. Maybe May was really smarter than she let on…?

It made sense. Every single word of what she had just said made perfectly logical sense. Perhaps that was what was happening but Sarah was too naive to spot it? Perhaps her emotions were clouding her judgement? Perhaps she was setting herself up for heartbreak because of her feelings?

She fought the ideas and doubts now flooding her mind, really against the thought. Eddy had said he liked her. He said he didn't want to take advantage of her when she was drunk. He acted like a gentleman. He made it seem like he wanted to take it slow and get to know her...

But was it possible he was only saying this to get on her good side? Make her trust him and then just use her and leave her for New York City or Lee Kanker? Was she just a toy for him to play with?

Sarah began to cry again, even more confused than ever. Worse still, she was aggravating her already very painful headache.

May wrapped her hand around her and rubbed her back until she fell asleep, physically and emotionally drained. She hated seeing her like this. Sarah was like her own little sister and to hear that someone was potentially taking advantage of her or hurting her made May mad. Suddenly, she was enraged to the point of finding out who the good for nothing rat was and giving her a piece of her mind. She was sure that would fix everything. Communication always helped.

_Then everything will be fine, and Sarah would be happy._ May reasoned. More than anything, she loved to see everyone happy and in harmony.

Sarah's phone vibrated from her side table. May would have ignored it had it not kept vibrating. Scared it would wake the younger girl up, she picked it up to put it on silent; her eye caught something. Three missed calls from Eddy and 1 new message…

_Sarah, please talk to me? I hate the way things ended between us. Let me make it up to you?_

May raised an eyebrow.

Was Eddy the guy Sarah was so upset about? Was he the one hurting her like this? What had he done? Had he somehow hurt her or forced her into doing something she didn't want? Wasn't he hooking up with her sister Lee...?

She looked at the previous message sent from Eddy… _I'm really sorry about last night._ And it clicked. Something was definitely happening between the two of them. Something about all this was definitely not right.

Tucking Sarah into her comforter, May decided she was going to get to the bottom of it.


	10. Elicit

**_Elicit_**

5 days later…

After a less than enthusiastic day at work, Eddy had taken a much needed shower and uncharacteristically ordered in, rejecting Lee's offer to come over. The last thing he needed was her making his life more complicated than it was with her seduction techniques. As much as he needed the company, he needed the complications much less.

In a way, it would have been easier had she been the only female in the picture. But as of late, he let his mind wander to Sarah willingly. Other times he had to force himself back to reality just to keep himself from daydreaming about her or wondering what she was doing. He couldn't stand it any longer, he had to see her.

"Ed," the young man said through his cellphone, dashing downstairs with keys in tow. "I'm coming over to your house."

"Uh, sure. But you don't ever have to call to tell me that," Ed said, not knowing what to make of his friends call. "And I'm not home at the moment, I've gone with May to see her sick aunt for the night. Everything ok?"

"I left a coupla files there the other day," Eddy thought quickly, it was a stroke of luck; he was not ready to face his friend regarding his sister just yet. He had planned on dancing around him with some excuse to go talk to his sister but now he would not have to "I need to just pick it up."

"Okay. Sarah's home, but I doubt she's up to talking to anyone," Ed informed him. "Just grab the key under the mailbox to get in."

"Sure thing buddy," Eddy said. "Later."

He sighed in relief.

Things might be falling into place for him, perhaps this was some cosmic sign that he was meant to go over and patch things up with Sarah? Whatever the reason, he really was glad to be getting an opportunity to make amends with her – she hadn't replied any of his texts or picked up his calls for 5 days now. It drove him all but crazy. Rejection was one thing Eddy royally sucked at getting over.

It had now become a challenge to his ego.

Only when he was unlocking the door to his friend's house that he realized he had nothing to say to her. He knew he needed to straighten everything out, but how would he phrase it? His heart was prodding his now frozen feet to move faster, rushed and anxious to make amends. But his thoughts were jumbled and frizzled – what _was_ he going to say?

He knew he was supposed to apologize, but after saying sorry what more did he want to let her know? That he and Lee hooked up? That they were still in touch? That he had unwittingly developed feelings for Sarah that he really couldn't help? Surely that would only complicate things for him and hurt her?

He swore to himself. Really, for a man who thought through all possible details of virtually everything in his life he was letting this completely slip past his grasp. The walk up the stairs was long, silent and carefully taken.

"Fuck it, just wing it." He concluded, as he knocked on her door.

"Go away Ed!"

He knocked again.

"Ed I promise I will kill you with my lamp if you keep bugging me."

Again, he knocked. This time he slowly opened the door into the dark, rose scented abode of the younger woman. It was neat, save for a couple of things out of place and dresses flung on chairs; Sarah was sitting cross legged on her bed, wearing glasses, Victoria's Secret Pink sweatpants and a tank top. Her laptop was perched in front of her and her hair was messily tied up into a huge ball on her head.

He stood in the doorway to announce his presence and grinned, fighting the urge to say something completely perverted and unnecessary. She looked serene in her natural surroundings, but his sudden presence seemed to put her in a state of panic.

Her mouth had dropped … literally ajar with amazement. Eddy was the very last person she expected to see, but the one she needed to be by her side. Words failed her mind and emotions, so she waited for him to say something.

"Hey." He said charmingly, crossing his muscular arms as he leaned on the door frame.

"Hi," she said softly, heart fluttering. She came back to reality when Jimmy, on the other end of the Skype noticed her queer reaction. "I'll call you later, Jimmy." And she dropped the call.

"What are you doing here?" her voice was threatening, realizing that she was supposed to be mad at him.

"I was in the neighbourhood."

"Ed let you come up here?"

"He's not in the house."

"So you just decided to break in like some damn burglar?" she asked annoyed.

"I had to see you," he reasoned. "How's it going?"

"Well I don't want to see you," Sarah spat, closing her laptop and holding the glare.

He sighed and stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him.

Sarah gulped and bit her lip… what was he up to? Why did he have to wear that shirt and those jeans that fit so perfectly and had a strange effect on her body? She secretly hoped that he wouldn't leave, even if she yelled and scram for him to. No, actually she wanted him gone, all he did was cause heartache and confusion and ... and ... a strange happiness that she liked.

"Too bad," he said, leaning on her desk. There was a moment of silence in the room before he continued. "I'm sorry about the other night. Shit got complicated."

He watched for any hint of redemption on her face. None.

"Is she ok?"

"Lee? Yeah." He informed her. Any sane person would take the cue to own up to the 'mistake' that really was him sleeping with her, but Eddy bit his tongue. He wasn't all too sane. "I drove her to her place; she had passed out."

Without flinching he had successfully lied. He watched her face relax and felt better about deceiving her instantly. It was no big deal, just once. There was no point in further upsetting her. As long as he never did it again he was sure Sarah would probably never find out. Both their minds would be at ease if she just didn't know, he reasoned. Why open another can of worms?

Sure the two weren't dating, but he didn't want to put any negative ideas of himself in her head. He wanted to remain blameless to her. Also, it's not as if he owed her any explanation for who he had sex with. Donating information like that always got people into trouble - and that's why he didn't.

"Oh," she said. "That was really kind of you."

He smiled.

_You really should be ashamed of yourself_ a voice inside his head chastised. He ignored it.

"I thought Ed was the only person around here that wore glasses?" he asked, changing the subject.

She grinned, adjusting her glasses "Bad vision runs in our family."

"Yea, but it doesn't look as sexy on him," he said, lifting from his position. "All you need is a white lab-coat and nothing underneath."

She rolled her eyes "You're such a sleazebag."

The older man sat by her bed – a bit too close for comfort – and scoffed "I couldn't stop thinking about the last night we were together. Not the Lee thing – you on top of me…"

She blushed, what was he getting at? As if hearing her thoughts, he reached out and stroked her hand gently.

"…And being your first"

"I – I can't Eddy." She blurted as if she had no control over what she was saying, pulling her hand away. "I really want to, but I don't think I can trust you…"

_And you shouldn't_ the little voice in Eddy's head warned.

"Can anyone really ever trust anybody?" Eddy asked, teasing her, trying to keep the atmosphere light.

He had glanced at her lips, like he was going to kiss her, and Sarah's heart skipped a beat, willing him to, but at the same time wanting to cry because she knew their relationship may not play out to a happy ever after. It was beginning to dawn on her how much he could potentially ruin her innocence and crush her soul, even with the best of intentions.

That was just who Eddy was.

"Listen, I like you. And like I said before – I'd love to see where this takes us," he admitted, more to himself than to her. It was the very first time in his life he had ever said something like that to a girl – bared his heart in front of her, with hope and all for acceptance. Actually meaning it. Of course, this was unbeknownst to Sarah. To her, he said stuff like this to billions other girls before her.

He was near a hundred percent confident that she would never turn him down. All until a split second later when no positive reaction was seen from her, then he realized how mistaken he was.

A part of him knew if he prodded a bit more he would have her, the circumstance was perfect and he was starting to feel very powerful physical urges taking over. But what good would it be if he forced her into it? The whole appeal of it before was that she was driven towards him and was the one making the calls.

"I mean…" she began when he didn't say anything else. "I need to think everything through carefully before I commit to promises I can't keep."

"Then don't make any promises, Half-Pint," he said convincingly, now trailing his hand down her neck and leaving her with goosebumps before taking it away and stuffing said hand into his pocket.

She was going to argue her case, he could tell from her posture and unease, but he felt like he was in no mood to hear it now. After presenting his heart only to be rejected _again _by the last person he would ever thought would reject him, he felt hurt.

It was a failed mission.

He nodded and stood up, his expression blank, possibly heartbroken. "I better get going."

Sarah wanted him to stay a while with her and talk about anything else.

However, her head told her Eddy wasn't the type to just lay around and do such things. Especially in his friend's house. Sarah was making a lot of assumptions about him, but they were valid ones - she couldn't help it.

She knew if she let him spend the night, something would happen. Something physical. With Ed gone, it would have been the perfect opportunity. She was hurt that she may have disappointed him. This was what she had been praying for every night for years now and she turned down the opportunity.

She watched him stroll out unphased.

...

_3 weeks later…_

Eddy paced back and forth, wearing out the sheath that spread across his open apartment's living room.

His stomach grumbled, he was too lazy to cook and had run out of microwavable dinners to binge on. And yet he had all the energy in the world to wear himself out pacing. It had become a ritual of his for weeks now. He did it whenever he was stressed out or was overthinking something.

After several weeks of purposefully ignoring his friends _and _Sarah, he was near ready to jump off a cliff due to insanity. Between work and Lee's visits, he was starved for some much need quality social interaction that didn't involve crunching numbers, kissing the asses of superiors he hated and recreational fucking with a woman he had mixed feelings for. The only thing that kept him sane was whenever he pretended it was really Sarah in his arms and against his chest cuddled up against him.

How the hell had he developed such strong emotions for her when just a couple of weeks ago she was… old little Sarah?

He continued pacing as a coping mechanism.

See, he was on his way to Ed's place, but then he stopped himself dead in his tracks. The man realized how odd it would be if he suddenly reappeared out of the blue – his disappearing acts having landed him in trouble before.

No, his friends were no idiots. They grew up with him. They were like his brothers. The Eds knew each other almost as well as they knew themselves. They knew Eddy retreated when something was bothering him; they had witnessed it on many occasions over the years. This time was no different and he was sure they were going to pounce on him the second he stepped foot into the house.

After Sarah had ignored his plea to become more, Eddy recoiled from the impact of rejection. Sure, it was his fault, this he knew. But he knew this was but a taste of the potential heartache that awaited him if he continued on the road with his best friend's sister. He just wasn't ready for that.

Fucking was so much easier. Simpler.

He was left with a fortnight before he had to leave for New York. With enough money saved in his account it was even possible for him to go that very second, if he chose… and yet, he knew he couldn't just up and leave without seeing to the young girl one last time.

Eddy could deal with his friend (her overprotective, unusually stronger older brother) going to his grave without ever knowing what happened; but he was unable to leave chaos and the uncertainty she had that other day in her heart.

He led her on and he knew she had strong feelings for him.

_Let her deal with it_ a part of him scolded, the part that remembered a fiery younger Sarah who lived to torment him. _Think of it as getting even for ruining your scams._

He frowned, considering it and finally stopping in his tracks as the sound of his telephone floated around the room. He looked at the object like he had never seen it before, _When did I get that?_ He wondered, carefully reaching out to answer it.

Lee always called him on his cellphone, and all communication he did was on either his business mobile or personal mobile… none ever on his home telephone. Who in hell even had the number?

"Hello?" his brow furrowing; strange device this telephone … works just like his cellphone.

"And he lives!" came a voice on the other end. It was drowned in the sound of gaming console shooting, explosions and the rapid tapping of buttons that came with practice.

"How'd you get this number Sock Head?!"

"Are you hiding from the FBI?" Double D asked, his voice sounding amused.

"No. I… Uh… Forget it," Eddy said agitated. "What do you want?"

"We want to know where you are!" shouted a voice over the volume of the background noise.

"Was that Ed?"

"Yes Eddy. You're on speaker."

_For fuck's sake…!_

"Is that right," he added, annoyed that the privacy of the call was violated.

"It is right!" Ed chimed his voice oscillating with the invisible actions he was doing onscreen.

There was some silence, but Double D broke it "Are you still there Eddy?"

"Yeah. Nothing beats hearing you two breathing."

Double D laughed at something that happened in the background, something that a female voice had said. Eddy tried to strain his hearing to tell whether it was Sarah, but the voice was so distant the attempt was futile.

"Got any Thanksgiving plans tonight?" asked Double D.

"What are you talking about Sock Head, Thanksgiving isn't until Monday."

"Eddy, it _is_ Monday."

Eddy glanced at his holidayless calender on his mobile phone. Amidst all the ignored texts, calls and instant messages he gathered that his friends had in fact been looking for him and asking him about his plans for tonight only to be ignored.

_Shit_. He had his head so far up his work he lost track of the dates. That was new for him.

"What, like tonight?" Eddy asked hesitantly.

"Yes, tonight Eddy. Since it was your last one here we thought it would be fun to invite everyone over."

"_Everyone_?"

"Nazz, May, Marie, Jimmy, Johnny, Kevin, Lee… We thought we could make it a going away party as well since everyone won't be in the same place in the next two weeks." Double D clarified.

"Agh, do I _have_ to come?"

"…Eddy you better come or else I will drive there and _drag_ you by your balls," Lee yelled into the phone.

He rolled his eyes. Lee in the same place as Sarah. Something about the night was not sitting well with Eddy. This could potentially turn into a disaster. Seemed like everyone was already there, despite it being 2pm.

"Yea, Eddy come on," Ed urged. "Plus work had you so busy we haven't had time to hang with you in weeks!"

Work…? That's what they thought was making him avoid the house. _Work._ Eddy decided to run with it.

"…Er, yeah, work's been a bitch."

...


	11. Return

_**Return**_

May's knuckles were turning white from the strong grip she held her steering wheel with. She hadn't said a word to her sisters the whole day, nervous about the night ahead. Her mind was a million miles away from the festivities; actually, it had been for quite some time now. She had watched her redhead sister take off in bewitching times of the night to her lover, his antics unbeknownst to her. May had wanted and meant to talk to her about it, but she never once knew what she would say… telling Lee anything would definitely compromise Sarah's safety, and she knew it. Eddy was a scumbag, was her take on all of it.

"God, May. Kill the steering wheel would you!" Marie commented from the backseat. If there was someone in the car who had a legit reason to feel uncomfortable, it would be Marie Kanker. Spending Thanksgiving with her ex-fiance and his wonderful new girlfriend was not something she was particulary keen on; however after May's near teary eyed speech on how much it would mean to her, she budged and gave in, only agreeing to go if she could bring her rebound romance Tim along.

"What?" May asked innocently, oblivious to the fact that her unease was starting to seep through her physical features.

"You've been acting weird," Marie told her. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," she laughed, glancing at Lee who sat on the front seat next to her. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Of course, none of the blonde's strange attitude was missed by Lee. Her sister had been acting pretty off, especially around her for weeks now. "You're lying," Lee stated, boredly.

"I'm alright, god you guys are paranoid," she laughed again – now awkwardly, as the radio station played a different track.

"Look," Marie said, leaning forward so that she was close to her sister's car seats. "I get tonight might end up dramatic because of you know, me and Double D… but really, I'm over it. I don't care about that bitch. Plus after I eat I'll leave."

"Her name is Nazz," May chastised, finally pulling into her boyfriend's driveway.

"Of course it is," Marie said, slouching back in her chair. May had again looked at Lee, who had been watching her, and it earned a raised eyebrow from said sister.

As soon as the car stopped, Tim and Marie were out taking the pre-prepared meals into the house, but Lee had grabbed May's hand by the car, wanting to have a word with her.

"What is with you?" Lee demanded. "And don't lie to me."

"Nothing, I guess it's just I know everyone had some sort of falling out with someone at the party, I feel like it may not have been such a good idea."

"Come on, May," Lee rolled her eyes. "We're grown. We aint gon just act rowdy, Marie promised to be decent, and I'm fine."

May smiled weakly, still uncertain.

"Plus you and Ed are practically married. Which makes us all family," Lee added lightly. "What's a family reunion without a scuffle?"

The other sister rubber her hand, the cool air blowing through her locks "Yeah, just please be nice to Sarah? I know you don't like her –"

"Whoa there hot stuff," Lee held up a hand. "I don't care for the little twerp. I'm honestly indifferent. 'Not liking her' would be asking too much of me."

May nodded. That was the most she was going to get from her sister. As nice as she'll ever be. In any case, May knew her problem was not with Lee or even Sarah. They didn't know how Eddy was stringing them both along for his own pleasure. Her real issue lay with that short douchebag with the entitled attitude, and if it was the last thing she did, she would tell him off. That's as far as she had planned. She knew he would listen because she highly doubted if he wanted Ed knowing about him and his dear sister. She prayed Eddy would just not show up, like he had done in the last 3 weeks. Just disappear.

"Lets go inside before the food goes bad," May joked.

…

Sarah sat by the bar stool on the kitchen island, on the other side of her was Double D and Nazz preparing non alcoholic cocktails (for themselves) and next to her was Jimmy and his boyfriend Jonny doing the opposite.

"If you put any more of that in those cocktails you will kill people Jonny!" Jimmy was telling him. "That stuff is vile."

"This stuff is the secret ingredient," Jonny informed him, taking a sip of the vile concoction himself. "My dad used it all the time for Christmas."

"You know what, Jonny… pour me a shot of that too," Sarah said, when she spotted Lee walking in holdidng preprepared food. Jonny obliged and she held out her hand for a second one, that she quickly gulped down.

The greetings were as awkward as Sarah imagined they would be, and soon after, she knew why Jimmy considered Jonny's dad's vodka poison. Rushing to the bathroom downstairs, she was fast feeling dizzy and out of it. Nothing could have prepared her for such a reaction.

"Eddy, you better come or else I will come there and drag you by your balls!" she heard Lee yell from the adjacent living room where everyone else was.

Oh shit. It was enough that Lee was here… but Eddy was coming too? Just like that, out of the blue? After disappearing for three weeks? A mixture of panic and dread filled the young woman… she was definitely not ready to even be in the same room as him after their last conversation.

She had been so sure that she had been the reason he barely came over any more. Like ninty-nine point nine, nine, nine percent. And now he was on his way over to the most awkward thanksgiving party in the history of the world consisting of his ex, his best friend's ex fiancé, his best friend's little sister with the biggest crush on him…

Sarah didn't know how long she was seated in the bathroom just thinking of an exit plan, but when she came out, felling slightly better but now tipsy, and possibly high, there was a knock on the front door. She hid by the corner of the corridor and peeped, pretty sure it was him. Nazz went to open the door, her pretty dress moving like water on her. How is she this happy when Marie is here!? Sarah wondered to herself.

Much to Sarah's disappointment – possibly joy – it was just Kevin and Rolf. Nazz politely greeted them excitedly and led them to the living room to watch the football game with the other men, leaving the front door ajar.

Frowning, Sarah took the opportunity to dash to her room and hopefully successfully nap off the feeling... Her head was spinning so fast she tripped on her feet, basic coordination eluding her. She thought of the alcohol Jonny had prepared for everyone and wondered what the night would end up like if everyone had a cup. Disaster would be the helping of the day.

"Dammit," Sarah mumbled to herself, head still spinning but feeling unbelievably giddy.

"Little too early to be doing such heavy drinking, don't you think?"

Looking up from the hallway floor, she spotted the man she was trying to avoid standing by the doorway… well speak of the devil.

...


	12. Warped

Warped

A/N: Hey everyone, so I'm working on finishing this story but I've already got an idea for another EEnE fic about EdxMay (because they are too cute!). I've written a couple of chapters for it and was wondering if anyone would be interested in being the story beta? It's an "M" rated story… so if you are interested, just PM me (

Hope you're all enjoying Deal with the devil!

L92.

Sarah's eyes went in and out of focus, trying to make sense of what she was seeing.

Her foot hurt, a dull ache caused by the fall perhaps… "Damn, I shouldn't have worn those stupid boots," she thought, momentarily forgetting that she was not alone.

Her house guest was perched by the hallway, looming above her with a menacing scowl etched across his face. He did not look pleased. She noticed him roll his eyes and say something probably completely uncalled for.

"Agh, like you don't get drunk too," Sarah thought annoyed, the ability to speak suddenly disappearing. She was, however, in no mood to fight or retaliate so it worked well to her advantage.

Right now, the young girl was more helpless than she was surprised to see him… With a badly injured foot and horrid nausea warming her throat courtesy of the deadly concoction Jonny had made, she was a sitting duck. Moaning in pain, she tried not to move her leg much, even though all she was wanted to jump up and dash away from the predator.

"My foot," she thought, fearing that it was broken. The older man sighed, this time sympathetically.

…

Her eyes fluttered open, but only for what felt like a second.

Said second seemed saturated by all sorts of information. It was like her brain took it in all at once; so much so that she was unable to make out if it was reality or a dream.

She smelt a familiar musk that made her knees tingle. Not only was she able to smell it perfectly, she was lying against the source. A hard, broad, warm surface that felt nice against her budding migraine. The strawberry blonde snuggled herself even more into the makeshift pillow, liking the way it made her feel better.

His steady heartbeat against her ear calmed her.

"Oh god. You smell so good. Hmmm," she thought.

She knew she was probably being carried, but that didn't all matter now.

Sarah just wanted to sleep…

Sarah just needed to rest her eyes…

…

Tug, tug, tug.

Her foot was being pulled at as she lay on the bed facing upwards. It was a strange sensation, and she felt even more confused by what was really happening.

She mumbled a question, momentarily opening her eyes to see what was happening – she was on her bed, and at the foot of it was her nice smelling, chivalrous, handsome hero. He had his attention focused on unlacing her boot that he didn't notice her waking up.

Sarah spotted that her other boot was already off and a cold towel was placed on it to reduce swelling. It was a kind gesture which really helped minimize the ankle pain.

Her head was pounding so hard it was hard to hear anything other than the ring of her ears. But Sarah didn't need to listen out for anything; he wasn't talking. He was silent, looking almost pensive and enchanted by her boots.

"3 weeks," she thought. "Why 3?! … Why hide away for 3 fucken weeks… such a coward."

He looked up at her, expression unimpressed and eyebrows raised. Their gazes met momentarily and Sarah felt his glare almost burn a hole through her soul.

"You think I'm a coward?"

Surprised, she realized that her thoughts may not have been the silent type. Was all she was thinking this time… being said out loud?

Well, how else would he have known that she had just called him a coward… mind reading?

For several seconds, Sarah said nothing. She didn't know how to even react; he looked mad – perhaps a bit hurt and curious? It was never her intention to let the words out directly to him. But he kept watching her, waiting for a reply, his eyes daring her to slip up and say dumb shit so that a fiery war of words and hurt emotions could happen.

When she didn't reply, he removed the unlaced boot and put it on the ground, then stood up and began walking to the door, now uninterested in what she had to say.

"This is what you always do! You leave when we're about to have a REAL conversation!" she blurted out.

He stopped moving, back towards her, weighing the options.

But suddenly, he took one stride to the door, deciding that the conversation was not worth having.

"I love you!" she called out, her voice breaking.

Again, he stopped, but this time he turned around "What?"

"I do, I love you and you know it but you think I'm just a silly little kid with a silly little crush on you. After everything that's happened I still think about you all the time and I try to forget about you and I get overwhelmed by my feelings for you. It's driving me so mad."

"You don't know what you're saying," he told her. "You're drunk."

She sat up and winced at the pain on her leg, but still got up. Leaning on her fine leg and on the furniture, she made her way to him slowly while talking. "No. I know what I'm saying," she said, crying now. "I'm not just saying it because I'm attracted to you – I'm really in love with you."

She stood in front of him, still leaning on her fine leg and holding onto her desk for more support. His dark orbs searched hers and she could tell he had something to say, but she only needed to hear four words.

"Please, tell me you love me too?" she begged.

He shook his head and cupped her cheeks, proceeding to support her body weight with his arms so that she was not hurting herself "You shouldn't be on your leg like this, you'll hurt yourself more."

He carried her bridal style back to the bed, and tears welled up in her eyes. "But, I…"

"I know," he said. "Shh, I know."

He wiped her tears with his arm and kissed her cheek "To be honest, I feel the same way," he whispered to her. "I don't know how to deal with these feelings. I guess I am a coward – I can't be with you because I wouldn't know how to be right or good enough; I feel like you deserve so much better – "

"But I want you," she cooed.

"No, Sarah. You don't," he told her sternly, while he rubber her temple gently.

She remembered sobbing into his shirt and letting him hold her.

She remembered begging him to stay with her, and him refusing because he had to go downstairs to keep up the ruse.

She remembered pulling him into an intimate, warm kiss that turned heated and sensual, and someone walking in on them…

But who it was, she couldn't remember.

…


	13. Offering

…

Offering

…

He could feel her slipping away into another alcohol induced sleep as he kissed her; he heard her breathing going mellow and steady, the final throes of consciousness. He wanted to savour the taste of her tongue on his a bit longer, and disregarding the fact that she was not in her right state of mind but even he knew it wasn't right. His hands wandered on her waist and back – practically yearning to mould themselves onto her petite frame as she purred and dizzily pulled away.

She loves me.

She loves me?

Shit. She LOVES me.

Eddy knew not to take it to heart, but she had disseminated the message so clearly to him it was impossible not to. Considering that it was a drunken confession blurted in the heat of heightened emotions, it held a lot of potential to change everything. He felt an emotion akin to love – strong, unconditional love – and it might change his mind about going to New York, Lee and facing Ed. She had a tendency of opening up about her feelings for him when she was the drunk, a habit the older man was fast growing weary of.

"Oh. My. God!"

He spun around, Sarah still in his arms and saw a surprised and angry looking May Kanker watching by the door. Eddy did not know what to do or say, how the hell do you explain away a situation like this? It must have looked pretty damn sinister from where the blonde stood.

He quickly released Sarah, gently placing her now sleeping form on her bed. He stood up, daring not to move too suddenly lest it seem like a deliberate action of cover-up; his mind was racing for a logical explanation. He considered the possibly telling May the truth – the 'from the very beginning' truth - but would she understand? It was May of all people. He was more worried about her running off to tell Ed and him getting the clobbering of his life from the big oaf over the whole thing.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked, her arms folded and stance threatening.

"I … I was helping her upstairs," he explained. "Saw her half dead in the hallway when I arrived."

May looked over at Sarah, her angry expression momentarily morphing into worry. Reading it well, Eddy stepped aside to let May see that the sleeping younger woman was alright. May rushed to her side and examined her, "Sarah, are you ok?"

An intelligible mumble was heard from her, and May looked up at Eddy with disgust on her face. He smiled nervously, hoping that this was the end of the matter.

"Why were you kissing her? You weren't trying to …?" May questioned, fearing the answer and now sitting by Sarah like she was protecting her from him.

"Of course not. I'm not a pervert –"

"I know you two have been meeting secretly, and you took her on some outing weeks ago." May interrupted, mad that he would not say the truth.

"What?"

"Yeah, and I know she comes back a wreck every time you two meet," she concluded "What are you doing to her?"

"Nothing!" he said defensively. "..And what, she told you all this?"

"No – ""

"So how can you be sure it's me she's so upset about?" he tried to outsmart her.

May's face reddened with anger, and she stood up "Look here you pig. You think you're so smart trying to make it seem like you're innocent but I KNOW you're seeing Lee and Sarah at the same time! You didn't think they'd find out but I did… and their gonna see you for the jackass you really are tonight. I don't care how smooth you think you are but no one messes with my family and gets away with it. Now get out before I make you."

He stood his ground, surprised by all the information May knew. Sure it was all true but it was just as misconstrued as well. He wasn't trying to play the two girls for his own pleasure… it was a coincident that they both were into him and Lee was his friend with benefits whereas Sarah was his best friend's sister who needed to realise that they couldn't be together.

"I don't take to threats very nicely, May," Eddy replied pointedly, face stern.

"And Ed doesn't take to his sister being taken advantage of very nicely either." …

As soon as he got to the foot of the stairs Lee spotted him, ready to act all couple-y and claim her stake on the man prize that is Eddy in front of all her friends and family.

It had been weeks since Eddy had seen her and for him it was too short. He was in no mood to be socializing; he was more concerned about what May Kanker might reveal to her 226 pound, 6 foot 2, all muscle Marine boyfriend as the night progressed.

Maybe leaving would be the best option?

"What were you doing upstairs?" Lee asked, always curious and intuitive in these types of situations. She could smell something off from a mile away.

"Bathroom."

"But there's one down here."

Eddy didn't bother replying, he shrugged off the redhead and walked past her. Lee looked up to the stairs and spotted May looking out of Sarah's room, her face rather flushed. She was always bad at hiding her feelings from people.

No sooner did he get into the living room did Ed tackle him into a head lock. Eddy thought it was finally the dreaded moment where he had found out about him and Sarah, until his huge friend yelled "Football ain't the same without your gambling schemes man!"

The shorter man struggled out of his friend's grip, fear in him solidifying because he knew if a fight erupted between the two of them, Eddy was a goner.

"Why hello there Eddy!" Double D said. "A, and noting his sombre appearance "you alright?"

"Yeah, whatever," Eddy replied, slouching in the chair near Edd. His mind wondered to the quickest route to his car that he could think of, as Ed kept making cheering noises with Jonny and Marie's date Tim; a lurking Lee Kanker stood behind the men, watching Eddy's off mannerisms with interest.

"Dinner's ready everyone!" a jolly Nazz announced.

People started to file out to the dining room on the other side of the house, and Double D pulled a pensive Eddy aside for a quick word.

"Eddy… are you ok?"

"Gee, Sockhead… get off my ass. What do you want me to say? I'm peachy alright!"

"No – as in, are you and Sarah ok?"

It felt like a slap across the face, no – more like a tub of ice cold water being poured onto your head. Even Double D was in on this too? Who else here DIDN'T know? "What!?"

"I saw you taking her upstairs earlier on."

"Yeah – she was tipsy," Eddy tried to cover up and make it seem as if it was just that.

"Right. I know something's going on between the two of you... A deduction I made after she mentioned –"" "Fucken hell. Can that girl quit running her mouth so much?" Eddy swore. It was like everyone knew because of her.

"Well, Eddy…. And do you really care about her, Eddy?" Eddy looked at his friend who, although was well to do, was annoying him with the interrogation with his straight talking.

"I do, Double D. And I hate it. Like I want to, but I can't. You know Ed will flip if he knew I even touched her."

"I know it's tempting to just go around with him not knowing, but I feel it would be highly beneficial if he heard about it from you."

Eddy gave Double D an incredulous look then a sarcastic laugh "You must be joking." "No, I'm serious. He's the one person who could make or break whatever you two are having. Even if you don't intend to date her and need his blessing, he still needs to know."

Eddy blinked, looking out into the dining room to his long-time friend. It made sense that if he had to hear about Eddy and his sister, Eddy had to be the one to tell him, but Eddy wasn't even sure if he wanted to get the point where he would tell Ed about him and Sarah then be expected to date her. He wasn't even sure about where she would fit in his future plans for his life.

"I don't know if I could make it work with her, Edd… I'm so confused." Eddy admitted.

Double D placed a supportive hand on his friend's shoulder, sympathetic to his cause.

"Hey you two, get in her before the food gets cold!" Nazz called. The two men went and took their seats – Double D next to his girlfriend and Ed next to Lee on the other end.

Everyone was settled down and chattering, Eddy looked at Ed who smiled and rose his mug of beer to him in silent toast, Eddy followed suite and smiled back, nervous and feeling his appetite gone.

"When're we gon' start eating, I'm hungry!" Marie complained loudly to Lee.

Nazz blushed a bit, shying away from the blue haired Kanker's comment.

"Once we get settled down!" a chirpy blonde appeared by the doorway, holding a groggy but very much awake Sarah's hand.

Eddy's eyes widened, surprised that Sarah was awake, and he gulped... the reaction didn't go unnoticed by Lee who sat next to him, wincing in jealousy.

May's gaze met Eddy's, and so did Sarah's. May took a seat next to her boyfriend Ed who kissed her cheek; and Sarah sat right next to her, opposite Eddy.

Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

…


	14. Abscence

Absence

**_Say you'll remember me,_**

**_Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe…_**

**_Red lips and rosy cheeks_**

**_Say you'll see me again_**

**_Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah ha,_**

_**Wildest dreams ah ha.**_

_-_Taylor Swift (Wildest Dreams)

"Well, well… isn't this _just SO _cosy!" Marie broke the awkward tension in the room by making it even more uncomfortable for Nazz, whom she winked distastefully at from across the table.

The blonde looked away, unappreciative of the pass; she was not sure whether Marie was taunting her or just trying to get under her skin.

Probably both.

Double D reached for her hand that was on the table and stroked it in an attempt to calm her; he knew how his ex-girlfriend Marie could get when she felt threatened, and he definitely did not appreciate her subtle disrespect towards Nazz.

But today was perhaps the last day they would all be together like this, and Nazz and May had worked so hard at putting it all together – he did not want to ruin it by starting a fight.

"You guys did a great job, the food looks amazing!" Johnny proclaimed to which Jimmy agreed.

"It's true, I have not seen this much food before me since my great Nana's Goat Shearing Ceremony!" Rolf added.

Most people rose an eyebrow but since everyone had become well accustomed to Rolf's strange traditions, no one dared ask more… the young man would have gladly began on a long narrative about the history of the Goat Shearing Ceremony of his people.

Sarah, sitting a good distance away from her blonde BFF – the only support system she had – tried to concentrate on anything but the man that sat opposite her.

Needless to say, it was awkward as hell for her.

She watched people talk around the table as everyone settled into the festive mood. She looked at the amazing looking food prepared before her, Nazz and May had really outdone themselves. She looked at her older brother and his girlfriend talk about something in hushed tones. She even resorted to staring down at her thumbs that she began idly twiddling to pass time.

For the most part she tried to keep her dizzy self focused on eating then leaving, the alcohols effect was still present in her stream.

When she did look up – at _him_ – she realised his attention was not even remotely on her. He was leaned in and had his arm lazily resting on Lee's chair, the two seemingly laughing about some inside joke.

A piece of her heart chipped off.

Perhaps she really should not be here. More dizziness.

If the whole dinner was going to be her subjected to watching them maybe it was just best if she left, rather than die of jealousy and embarrassment.

"Uhm, May," Sarah said quietly, trying not to let everyone hear what she was going to say. "I'm really not in the mood to stay here and –"

"'Ey Red, don't be such a wet blanket!" Kevin said from across the table… apparently she wasn't quiet enough for the narrow table.

Eyes turned to Sarah, including Eddy's.

May noted the tense young woman's uncomfortable posture. She knew this had to be Eddy related…

"Baby Sarah can't handle her alcohol?" Lee chimed in in a mocking tone.

"What?" Sarah asked, the dizzy feeling taunting her. "I'm perfectly fine, I'm just not hungry... that's it"

"Aww, come on Sarah, Nazz and May put so much effort into this. Please stay a while and have a little?" Ed pleaded. "Plus we haven't even gone round the table for things we are grateful for yet."

Her older brother's pleading eyes made her feel guilty about almost ruining the occasion for him.

"Ok, fine, I'll stay for a bit." She gave in.

Eddy looked at Sarah curiously, and their eyes met but she quickly broke contact.

Ed stood up, clinking on a glass to get everyone's attention "Excuse me, everyone."

The whole table turned to face him.

"Thanks for coming, firstly. With everything going on and plans looming around the horizon for a lot of us, this might just be the last Thanksgiving we will ever get to spend together. So, I'd like to start off by giving thanks for all of you, my friends, my amazing sister and my beautiful girlfriend for everything. We've grown up together and have been through a lot but we can still gather around to have a great time… I appreciate that.

"And being a man with everything he could have ever hoped for, what more could I want? Well…"

Ed put the glass down and reached into the back pocket of his jeans for a small blue box.

People became wide eyed and coos of excitement were heard all over the table as the man knelt to the ground right in front of his girlfriend of five years and opened the small box to reveal an expensive diamond engagement ring that sparkled blue and white.

"May… I love you. I've been in love with you for the longest time, and I can't imagine a life where you are not with me; you make me so happy. I know we haven't had the very best of times but we know to fight through it because we're an 'us'…. So what do you say, be my wife?"

Rolf, Tim and Kevin cheered, Double D clapped and the girls kept cooing about how precious it was. Eddy on the other hand had his jaw to the ground, completely caught off guard by the announcement.

May was temporarily stunned – the whole scene surreal to her.

Her head kept screaming "YES, YES, YES!" but her lips were literally frozen shut, so she nodded and kept nodding until he slipped on the perfectly fitting ring onto her finger.

The two stood and hugged, May going as far as wrapping her legs around her now fiancé.

Sarah wiped away a stray tear... she really did not expect that! Well, she knew those two were destined to be together but now… it was really becoming a reality! Her brother seemed to have kept the secret well from everyone including her, and she didn't mind so much, surprisingly she was happy for the two despite the situation.

A beaming May said "Well, y'all know what I'm grateful for!"

Small chuckles were heard and the girl wiped a tear from her face. It was difficult to fight back the water works because for the longest time she didn't think she would ever be this deliriously happy – she had a place to stay, a man who loved her and provided joy and laughter, she was nearly done with her degree… all the things her mother told her she would never achieve.

"I know we all have history – some good and some real bad – and that we sometimes do things that hurt each other but we're all family. Officially now! And family never lets one another down, no matter how weird things are. Point is. I've been told so much bullshit about myself I've believed it growing up. That nobody will ever love me or that I wouldn't get into college or that I'm good for nothing. Specifically by people I considered my family. Bur when I met Ed I realised it wasn't worth holding on to so I let it go and allowed myself not to be tied down by those negative words.

"It would be great if all of us could forgive people who have been less than good to us to allow our hearts to open."

May concluded by looking at Eddy, he was unable to read her facial expression, still in shock over his friend's proposal. The table was quiet for a moment after she finished her tribute and it was clear that everyone was moved. Soul searching had begun.

"May. That's…" her blue haired sister trailed off, glancing at May's huge engagement ring with a significantly less aggressive expression on her face than usual. She sighed, bracing herself for what she was going to say "_Well_, I'm grateful for the ability to let go of those that I mistreated… cause now they're happier and I know I couldn't have possibly given them that if I was still in the picture. And love means knowing when to let go to stop hurting the other person."

Nazz did a double take… did she just admit to still loving Double D?

Double D was also fast on picking up May's subtle message, he blushed a little and looked at May who had her head purposefully turned away from him.

Lee cleared her throat, wanting to alleviate the tension in the room. She knew her sister and her ex had bad blood and she was not ready to relive it, god knows she had spent endless sleepless nights trying with Marie helping her get over her soulmate.

Also, she had her own little announcement to convey to everyone "I have an announcement too," she began, a playful tone to her voice. Everyone turned to her and she turned her shoulders to the man sitting next to her, "Eddy, I'm having your baby!"


	15. Calloused

**_Calloused_**

"Eddy I'm having your baby!"

Silence overcame the room like a thick cloud of smog; heavy and dark. The only thing that could be heard was Eddy's sudden and raucous choking as he had conveniently sipped his drink down the wrong pipe when Lee made her announcement.

"Wha... What?" May half whispered, unable to accept the news. She questioned so much, and despite her newly proposed state she felt sickened and the furious towards Eddy. Her special day was officially ruined by the sleezebag. _This was not happening,_ she begged internally, but then remembered another person who would be shattered even more so by the sudden development.

Glancing at Sarah, she saw a stunned and heartbroken expression; her face starting to flush a bright red. May felt such a concoction of emotions for her – disappointment, disgust, hurt, anger, sadness, heartache… and yet she was unable to reach out to comfort her seeing that it would reveal a floodgate of hidden secrets.

How did her sister not tell her this news sooner? Was she keeping this all this time just to tell everybody now? May thought. _Poor Sarah._

"Lee. Shit. What are you taking about?" Eddy asked quietly, doing his best to stay calm and quiet. As far as he was concerned this could be some sort of mistake. Or misunderstanding. Or sick joke. There was no way she was...

"We're having a _kid_," Lee clarified a huge smile pasted on her gorgeous features. If anyone at the table had missed the news before, her volume certainly did not help to keep it discreet. "I'm pregnant!"

The red head radiated a smile that was a mixture of coercion and manipulation. Eddy knew she had the potential to be crazy but this... getting pregnant on purpose without his consent was taking it to levels.

With everyone watching, Eddy rested his temple on his hand and cleared his throat to sooth it; he attempted to whisper "... But you told me you were on the pill. We were safe about shit, Lee..."

"Wait. You aren't happy?" Lee interrupted rather loudly. "I mean I know it's a surprise to you but I was just as shocked when I found out! I was on the pill but I missed a day or something, I don't know? All I know it's that it's YOUR baby and I'm keeping it."

Eddy gawked at the woman sitting next to him with an angry yet stunned look. He was certain this was possibly as some sick revenge plot for the way he had been treating her. Lee smiled sweetly at him and reached out to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him into a forced hug.

"Congratulations!" an oblivious Ed said heartily. "So many blessings. Could this night reveal any more surprises?"

Sarah who had witnessed the whole thing unfold from across the table watched as Lee hugged Eddy and her friends say their excited congratulations, well everyone but Nazz, Jimmy and May who waited - looking at Sarah and each other cautiously like she was a bomb that was going to explode.

The young woman felt sick to her core by the very thought of it all.

Did this mean Lee had been with Eddy all the time he was ignoring her? Did he prefer her? Why did he not just let her go easy if he was into Lee still? Was he planning on being with both of them? Taking her virginity while also being with Lee? ...No while having a baby with her?

_He never once liked me…_ she kept thinking; _and he didn't seem bothered by the fact that I was was right there... witnessing it all. _

Suddenly, she got up dramatically, her chair dropping loudly behind her and she ran out of the house. The door banged hard and everyone looked curiously at each other. Nazz and Jimmy simultaneously rose from their seats, the same thought running through their minds.

"I'll go after her," they both said, half nodding at each other in unison.

"I'll come with you," Ed said, worried about his little sister. "She did have a lot to drink. "

"Err, no Ed- don't. She's uhh, going through some girl stuff. Cramps and the like, " May began, holding her fiancé from leaving because she knew he would certainly find out and the person who was meant to tell him was breaking bread with him. "She told me she's just a bit off it today."

"Really? Maybe I should take her to the hospital then if it's serious? " he asked.

"I'm sure like May said it's nothing Ed. Anyway, we got her, " Nazz said, her and Jimmy rising to their friend's brother's side. "If she needs a doctor we'll take her to one and let you know. You know how girls are with their lady things. "

Ed's gaze narrowed, his forehead crumpling in thought and finally resolution "Ok. I'll give you guys a couple of hours and that's it. Call me when you find her."

"Ok," Jimmy said, fishing his keys from his jacket.

...

The two friends rode in silence, thinking the same thing.

They had exhausted every single hideout of hers and every other friend's house in town and yet no Sarah. Jimmy got in the car and just drove around town unsure of a destination. Of all the people she was closest to he felt rather ashamed that he was not able to find her – they had always been so close until Johnny came into the picture and – from Sarah's direct quote – "stole him away from her". Although it was said in fun banter there was a hint of truth to it that saddened him now.

The friends both knew their friend well enough to predict that she was probably not going to want to be found for a really long time. And once she put her mind to it, she would disappear off the face of the planet...a perfected skill of hers.

Nazz checked her phone for the billionth time. Nothing. She sighed and looked again, hoping that something would have changed in the second she glanced away. Still nothing.

Jimmy spotted this and reassured her by saying "She needs space."

That's when the girl's eyes began to water. Attempting to conceal it was futile so she covered her face, overcome by disappointment.

"I'm such a horrible friend!" She blurted, much to Jimmy's surprise. Sure they were all upset but the crying was sudden.

"Hey hey…" began Jimmy, but she interrupted.

"No. I should have seen this coming from a mile away. I literally pushed her into his arms - I saw her getting hurt and attached to him but -"

Jimmy felt a pang of guilt for not being involved either, although in his defense Sarah had been extremely secretive about the situation, and extra withdrawn. "I feel horrible for not being there at all, or even pushing to find out more. She was acting weird and I don't know…

"We can't blame ourselves Nazz. She needed to sort through her feelings; confusing as they were and we would have only smothered her. Plus she knows we're always there for her. I just hope she's alright."

Nazz shook her head, looking out the window, not knowing what she was looking for anymore.

…

Marie's date for the night Tim gazed longingly at the food on the table, untouched and pristine.

"So, are we gonna eat or what?" he asked in a thick country accent, reaching out for a homemade roll.

"Don't you dare touch that food Timothy Elliot!" May chastised from across the room where she sat on a settee with her now fiancé.

"I'm hungry!" he complained, the only person still seated at the table with hopes of eating.

"Then get some scraps in the kitchen, I'm sure you know where it is!"

Ed smiled at her, she always seemed to read his mind. Thanksgiving would not be the same without his sister, Jimmy or Nazz. He didn't have the heart to declare nobody touch the food, but at least May did it and they could buy some time.

"Thank you. The food wont taste the same without Sarah here," he told her.

"I know honey," she said, kissing his hand. "she'll be alright."

"What if something's wrong though? Like, I know you guys are probably right about everything but what if on the off chance that this is the time she really needs me?"  
May sighed, she really hated playing devil's advocate. She knew he would be furious with her when he finds out she purposefully kept what was really happening behind his back… perhaps she should just tell him?

Eddy did deserve it.

May spotted him leave the house to the backyard with Double D, with that dumb looking blank stare on his face and she seriously reconsidered. Perhaps it was not her place.

So, instead of saying anything in return, lest she lie or mislead, she stroked his hand lovingly.

…


	16. Dwells

******_Dwell_**

Bit of an explanation for this chapter… it is extremely long. But rather satisfying to write. There is a backstory to one character's motivations and why she did something that is important to the plot. I recently became fascinated with her... hope it isnt boring. But trust me, it's leading up to somewhere J -Lantern

…

**_Didn't I rock with you all night?  
Wasn't it good enough? Don't lie  
Didn't you tell me that I blew your mind?  
Brought out the animal in me  
Nobody else can tame that beast  
Why did you have to go and say goodbye?  
Now all I wanna do is get, get you back  
Cause girl, you're still the best that I've ever had_**

\- Robin Thicke, Back together

Marie gazed outside from the sofa she was perched on to see the man she was in love with talking to his friend.

"Don't let the hurt define you" her therapist's words echoed.

He looked perfect and it was almost so surreal this feeling of not being able – or having any right – to walk right up to him and wrap her arms around her.

"Your hurt cannot hurt you unless you let it"

It had been a year and a half and she hated that it took him such a short time to move on like they never had anything special. Looking at him brought back so many memories of all the blessings she had overthrown as a result of her selfishness.

She paced around the house, remembering what her therapist said about dwelling on the past.

"There is nothing to be gained from dwelling on your mistakes, only pain."

Everyone had left the dining room, the food was stored for eating later and it was empty. Empty enough for her to recollect herself in a quiet room, a technique her therapist had asked her to practice when she felt herself relapsing.

"Facing him is not reliving the memory, it's overcoming it," she reflected in silence.

A couple of minutes passed and soon, she was significantly less shaken up by his presence, getting up from the ottoman in the dining room, she spotted something on a chair. A phone.

Perhaps someone had dropped it?

With every intention of going to return it, she picked it up and unlocked it, expecting to see a password protected screen and any hint as to who the owner was. But it only revealed a thread of text messages between Eddy and… Sarah?

"Sometimes the truth cleanses more than an empty apology."

She did not bother to read the rest because the few texts she did read spoke for themselves: Heated love affair of young girl and older guy.

Honestly, it was none of her business and she had evolved past the point where things like this were her main ammunition. Sure, she had had moments at dinner earlier when she was attempting to intimidate Nazz, but in reality she was intimidated – jealous and unworthy of sitting opposite her.

The mobile began to ring, ED flashing on the screen, and almost on queue the man himself strolled into the room, phone to ear. "Hey! Is that my sister's cellphone, Marie?"

**_*flashback*_**

**4am Sunday morning.**

**Marie anxiously walked through the apartment doors of the place she shared with Double D.**

**She fumbled with the door in the dark, as if drunk, attempting to lock it quietly behind her when a click of the light was heard from behind. He'd startled her.**

**"Marie. Where have you been?"**

**"Fuck Double D! You scared the living shit out of me!"  
The blue haired woman dropped her handbag on a table and faced him, unsure of what excuse to give. She knew he was not dumb – he was waiting to hear the truth he already knew from her.**

**"You've been crying." **

**Evidently she had done a lousy job of covering up the smudged mascara that was a result of tears.**

**"No!" she said defensively, rushing to the kitchen, attempting to hide her face.**

**Double was quick to follow her, his intuition piquing. He stopped by the doorframe and was in denial for a second, perhaps she had taken what he wanted into consideration for once?**

**Marie stood over the counter, kettle humming and tea bag in hand, only pausing to ask "You want some?"**

**When he didn't reply she kept on making the tea which made him feel apprehensive. She could feel his eyes boring into her back. There was no way in hell she could hide this forever. Especially not from him. Especially when the wound was still fresh and she was at her most vulnerable.**

**She was nervous and her hands were shaking.**

**The kettle finally stopped with her still turning her back to him, she reached out for it and fumbled over herself, scolding water pouring onto her hand. She cried in pain and her boyfriend came to her rescue.**

**"Here," he took her hand and put it under running cold water, holding her still from behind. She then started to panic; she knew he knew what she had done.**

**"Hold it there" he instructed, as he went to get supplies from the first aid kit that Marie ironically always teased him about. When he returned with soothing ointment and bandages, she didn't bother to fight him off because she knew he would still insist on dressing her burn.**

**"I'll go get it checked out tomorrow," Marie said, taking her hand away from him once he was done. "Thanks."**

**He looked up at her, surprised that she was so touchy and jumpy, it made him even more nervous to admit what he already knew. Her eyes were red rimmed and slightly pink – obvious indicator that she had been crying.**

**He knew her more than he knew anyone else in the world. Possibly more than he knew himself, and he could almost predict her very next move, but today – today she was out of sync. A classic sign of…**

**"Marie? ****_What did you do_****?" he asked, fearing her response more than he was fearing his own threating tone.**

**"I…" she looked away, unable to look him in the eye and tell him the truth.**

**"Please, no. don't tell me you did-"**

**"I did! I did it!" she whispered. "I thought I wanted it, Double D… but when I got there and they were half way – I realised what a huge mistake I was making!"  
Through her tear glossed eyes, she saw his heart shatter into a million pieces and gloom wash over his face. He was in a mix of disbelief and shock that she even said it, and probably more upset that she actually went through with it.**

**"I begged you to wait, Marie. I wanted to share this with you – I knew you wouldn't want it like this, but… you still went and did it anyway? What does that even say about what my opinion matters to you!?"**

**She buried her face in her fine hand and could not stop the tears.**

**"Marie, we talked about this. You gave me your word… I was excited for us- finally getting to be a family and taking the next step… I …" he stopped, growling angrily and punching a hole in the wall. "Fuck!"**

**That was the first time Edd had ever sworn that Marie had heard. He must have been really upset – with her. She regretted it from the second she heard him express what this meant to him – being a family; but more she hated herself for taking it away from him.**

**"Edd, I'm so sorry – I really regret doing it. I'm such a screw-up!"**

**"Who did you go with?"  
"I know I shouldn't have done it. I hate myself for this. I can't believe I took a life because I felt selfish…"  
"Who did you ****_go_**** with?"**

**"I didn't even think it through. And now I've messed it all up. I hate this so much-""**

**"GODDAMMIT MARIE WHO DID YOU FUCKEN GO WITH!?"**

**She stopped, and looked into his fiery eyes, bruised with tears now.**

**"I… a-alone."  
He slowly closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose and bowed his head, pacing like he did when he was at a loss of things to do.**

**"And you just up and decided to kill our child – ****_my_**** child? Like it's nothing, huh? This was not your call to make"  
"Double D – please – ""**

**She reached out for him, but he took a step back and put his hands up "I can't even look at you without feeling betrayed… disgusted. I need space from this. ****_From you_****."**

**With that, he dashed to get his car keys, Marie begging him to stay "Please I need you. I'm hurting just as bad as you are and I can't – I don't think I can do it alone."**

**"No, Marie. I think you've made it damn well clear where I stand in your life."**

**-7pm Thursday… 3 months later-**

**There was a buzz heard on the intercom and Double D lazily got up to open it. "Yeah?" he asked grumpily.**

**"Hi. It's me," came a voice from the other end. His heart skipped a beat, almost excitedly. This was the first time she had come to see him after she announced she was moving out two days after her abortion.**

**Of course, then he could have cared less what happened to her, but as the days stretched on and he went through his grieving cycle by himself, he realised he missed her more than he was willing to admit.**

**Nights were long and days were even longer without her cheesy jokes and consistent laughter.**

**Of course he kept hurting from what she did – he didn't believe in abortion. And mostly he didn't appreciate her making that huge decision just because she thought she didn't want a child. He did. With her. So much. **

**But did he have any say? No.**

**He buzzed her in and sat down on the couch, trying to calm himself with breathing techniques before she got up. He knew he was going to have to fight himself from embracing her and asking her back. **

**Sure she made a mistake. **

**And she made him know that she regretted it more than anything on numerous occasions. She begged for weeks on end but to him it was all background noise. She even relapsed on her alcoholic tendencies and ended up in hospital. He went to see her but she was still resting and didn't wake in time to meet his worried face. For a good week he went, but on the one day he didn't show up, she did wake up. And apparently the first thing she asked for was him.**

**Marie opened the door with familiar ease, she looked much thinner and donned a neat work suit. Since her relapse and hospital stay she had acquired a respectable day job at a huge law firm as a personal assistant, working to become a paralegal. Admittedly, he was proud. She looked amazing and better than he had ever seen her. He liked this side of her.**

**He now only saw the woman he was in love with.**

**"Hi," she said, smiling weakly and taking a seat on a nearby sofa.**

**"Hey, how are you?"**

**"I'm alright, you?"  
"Decent."**

**She nodded, noting his chin stubble and worn out eyes. It looked like he had not slept in ages and was not eating as well. It hurt her so much to see him like that.**

**"Good… good." She said, shifting in her seat, and looking up to see him staring at her. "Uhm..?"**

**"Do you want something to drink?"**

**"Sure. Water please."  
Water? No beer or cheesy flavoured soda pops?**

**"Here you go," he handed her a glass.**

**"Thank you."**

**She drank a bit, avoiding eye contact and desperately wanting to cuddle up in his arms but doing a better job of resisting the temptation. She figured he probably still hated her after everything that had happed.**

**She cleared her throat. "So…I… uh, came to tell you that I'd be coming to get my stuff on Saturday. I got a place down town. It's not much – I'm sharing with this girl, she's cool – but it's a good start…"**

**"You aren't planning on moving back in with me?"**

**Marie blushed. ****_What_****?**

**"Edd – I was under the impression that you know- with everything that happened and me not living with you for three months –you'd want me out? And we were done…"  
"There you go again. Making assumptions for me!" he burst.**

**"Wait, what?"**

**"Yeah. Marie. We're separated for space, this is hard on me and I need it. But unfortunately for me I need to have you here too."  
"Edd…"**

**"I cant stop thinking about what you did. But more than that. I can't stop thinking about ****_you_****, Marie. I love you, no matter what. That's all that counts. But I don't get why you make yourself boss over these things like you're the only person who has to make decisions in this relationship."  
She started to tear up and Double D felt guilty for using such an intimidating tone.**

**"I'm sorry – I just. I want you back. I want us to fight for this."  
The sobbing worsened. Not at all his intention and it was making it hard for him. He went to sit beside her and wrapped his arms around her frame. It felt familiar and new at the same time. He wanted to hold her forever and apologise for not being there for her when she needed him the most. **

**Hours passed, and they slid down on the sofa into a lying position, embracing one another. A lot like old times but also a whole lot different. He didn't know what she was thinking – not even in the slightest bit, but he was wishing she would stay with him.**

**"Marry me, Marie?"  
She moved a bit, unsure if she had heard right "what?"  
"Marry me. I'll be good to you and I promise not to make you cry ever. This was hard. But we can work at it."**

**"Double D, it's not that…. I'd love nothing more than to be your wife. It's all my heart ever wanted. But I realise that this is destructive. I can't love you the way you need to be loved if I can't even take care of myself. I need time to get my life straight."  
"So stay with me. I'll be there for you. Am I not enough to help you through this?"**

**She sat there for a while, stroking his cheek as his dark orbs begged her to agree "Goodbye, Double D." then left.**

***end of flashback***

"Marie, what are you doing with Sarah's phone?"

"I – well…"

"Sometimes the truth cleanses more than an empty apology." Her therapist's voice echoed.

_I can't keep carrying people's truths for them. It's not a burden I want to bear, I have too much. _She reasoned, her vulnerability revealing itself once more from being put in a tight position. _It's not a burden I can bear._

"Marie? Did my sister give you that?"

"Ed… here. I think you need to read something on this."

…


	17. Resolve

___**Resolve**_

Usually Double D was the voice of reason.

But this time round he was the face of big headedness.

Eddy interpreted the look he donned as that of ' I told you so' and he couldn't bear to look him in the eye. What could be said now though? Sorry? Whoops?  
"Don't fucken do it Sock Head," he threatened, sitting on a tyre swing outside.

"Do what?" his best friend asked, leaning on a tree, in reality his face stoic.

"Don't tell me I fucked up 'cause I know I did."  
Eddward said nothing for a good while as he waited for his hot tempered friend to calm down. He watched people inside resolve to do other things that did not include eating or being merry.

Of course he, like everyone, else at the table did not know how to react to Lee's sudden news. His friend was leaving – or meant to be, and now here they were. Baby on the way and Sarah disappeared.

"I shouldn't have come here," Eddy said, not facing him.

Edd did not know what to say. His words would just be a repetition of what he had said before – the same thing he had been thinking, the same thing he and Eddy knew to be right.

"I liked her, Edd." He began, now calm and reflective. "I _like_ her. And I know she feels the same, more I think. She said it had been the longest while since she began feeling these things for me."

Double D was uncertain who he was talking about at first.

"When she told me, I used her and left her hanging because I was unsure of her. I think I really wasn't sure of myself; actually… _haha…_ I don't think I've ever been sure of myself completely. All that confidence and cockiness was just a way of compensating, I think. And even after bullshitting my way through it all she saw me. She saw right through it. I mean, there was a moment with this girl when I became someone else. Somebody sure of himself. Because of her… is that like, a thing?"

Edd had lost his friend's train of thought but he just nodded, the small bit he understood he could reply to. If it helped talking through it, he wouldn't interrupt just lend an ear. But who was this she Eddy was talking about? Lee? Sarah?

"That's what I wish I knew better, so perhaps you and Ed have the formula right. Find the person you can't live without and make the most of that; _god_… You know this might be the second chance I didn't know I needed? Ha. Shit. This is so twisted you know?"

"Oh. _I_ sure as hell do," Ed's voice came from the porch.

There was barely enough time to react to Ed's interjection before the huge ex-marine lunged at Eddy and pinned him to the ground with brute force. Of course, Eddy did not see it coming from a mile away. He was caught completely off guard.

Ed landed three straight punched strategically onto Eddy's nose, jaw and eye before Double D rushed to pull him off, although somewhat failing at it. Rolf and Johnny came outside as a result of Marie screaming and assisted Double D, while Kevin and Tim held Ed back.

"Hey, what the hell's going on here?" asked Rolf, an enraged Ed managing to pull all three men closer to his prey. "Calm down Ed!"

"Yeah, fuck what the hell man!" Eddy complained, crouching over in pure agonizing pain. Lee had ran to his side to see if he was alright.

"Oh my god, you're badly hurt!" she panicked.

May who stood near Marie asked her sister if she had seen what had caused the commotion. Her sister explained what she had seen and May's heart sank.

"You lying sneaky piece of shit!" Ed cursed. "You're the reason Sarah is so upset!"

Eddy's eyes went wide with realisation. He didn't know how his friend had found out but he had. This was the moment he had been dreading for the longest time now, playing out as he had expected. Except – he did not know how to respond to his friend, or even what to tell him.

He really should not have come here, he lamented.

"Answer me you scumbag! What did you do to my sister!?" Ed again struggled to get loose, each time giving the three guys holding him back a good fight for their worth.

"What? You and Sarah?" Lee asked in disgust, looking at Eddy with a disappointed and venomous expression.

"Ed, relax. You don't understand…" Eddy started, seemingly ignoring Lee's glare. "I think I'm in love with your sister, ok!"

Lee asked shocked "What?"

May gasped, rolling her eyes in anger at him. She knew he was using her all this time "That's not true," she spoke out of heated emotions and watched her fiancé look in her direction with a confused look on his face, pure disbelief.

"What?" he asked.

"Ed, please, believe me when I say I didn't tell you because Sarah was in a weird place about this and she did not want to worry you – but I know for a fact that he's lying." She explained, slowly approaching Ed. "He was seeing both Lee and Sarah at the same time and leading both of them on."

"Oh yeah, May?!" he asked, anger marring his face. "You fucken knew too huh?"

"Wait, Ed. This is not about me. I was trying to protect Sarah and she didn't want you knowing – "

A strange concoction of emotional laughter came out of her boyfriend "I don't know what's crazier. The fact that you knew and didn't say anything or that this asshole was sleeping with my little sister!"  
"Hey wait a minute. We never got intimate!" Eddy defended himself. "I feel  
"Still Eddy I told you how I felt about Sarah and you heard me talk about how I wanted the best for her including in realtionships and you just treat her like one of your whores? I don't care what you say to me, I'm going to kill you you rat!"

Double D fought his friend back and yelled to Eddy "Eddy leave now!"

And with that kevin and Tim let him loose as he crumpled to the ground in agony and embarresment, clutching at his face but still managing to get up and run into the house and out towards his car.

As he strolled out of the house, one of his eyes now swollen shut and black, Lee ran after him and called out "Hey!"

He turned and looked at her, crying once again over some dumb decision he had made. Of course he was not heartless but this was beginning to drain him emotionally and sadden him. He felt horrible for putting Lee through this- everything actually. He was truly sorry.

"Lee, I'm so sorry!" he said.

"I hate you, you hear me Eddy?" Lee said through thick sobs and mad crying. "I fucken hate your guts and I wish Ed had given you what you deserved. I mean what the hell? What gives you the right to keep playing with my heart like this? I though I meant something to you. And if I didn't why you did even keep pursuing me? To use me? To just get what you want and leave? You should have just left me alone. I was fine without you you asshole! Do I mean that much to you? Did I ever mean anything at all to you, huh? Actually. You're a filthy coward. That's what you are. A selfish coward – I never want to see you again and I hope you disappear off the face of the planet!"

There was a ruckus coming from the house and Ed knew that Eddy was hot in pursuit and he had to leave now, he looked apologetically to Lee and got into his car, not a word being said. Perhaps she was right, the man needed to disappear.

…

Sarah realised she left her phone when her car failed to start on account of an empty tank.

She had driven so far out of town to that abandoned woods that Nazz had her birthday party that she forgot to fill up. Heaven only knows how she even managed to get there when she was an emotional, drunk wreck.

As if on autopilot she parked out back and walked to the spot he had shown her, as if it would give her some sort of solace. She was finding it difficult to accept that he would never be hers. Ever. Especially since he was in love with someone else and having her baby.

She cried and felt the now cold breeze of the setting day sweep through the lakeside. What was she thinking. This was not her. Sarah never cried over boys. Sarah never made a scene for a boy. Sarah never fell this hard for a boy…

But. It was _him_. She didn't know why she liked or wanted him still so badly after everthing he put her through but she just knew that that's all she wanted. Even if her brother said otherwise. Even if he was having a baby with someone else. Even if he was with someone else…

_What the hell and I thinking, _she chastised herself.

Sitting by the tree they had their first kiss, she felt herself steady drift in and out of drunken sleep, a migraine forming at the back of her head when she heard a crumple of leaves behind her. Startled, she looked behind and saw a mirage.

"You're here."

…


	18. Edify

**_Edify_**

In the now shadowy light of early dawn she gazed upon the face of the person she was thinking of. It was no mirage.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, turning away from him.

"I came to say goodbye, half-pint."

"What?" she asked, spinning around to see him walking towards her, his face all bruised up. She gasped "What happened to you… Ed?"

He nodded, a weak smile on his face "Your brother loves you, Sarah."

"…OH god, are you ok? I'm so sorry – "

He scoffed, sitting by her "Yeah, yea. I am. Why are _you_ apologizing? I should be the one begging for your forgiveness."

"Ed. He acts like he's the boss of me. Like I cant make my own decisions. I'm not a little girl anymore. And yet he acts like he knows what I should and shouldn't do. That's why I didn't tell him about this – us. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't know me."

"Well, he knows _me_," Eddy said, looking into the distant ocean and thinking of his older brother who had taught him most of the sly things he knew. Eddy had worshiped him so much so that he attempted to emulate his brother's psychopathic behaviours that ultimately landed the elder sibling in prison for life. He missed him everyday. Because even though he was a ruthless murderer, he was still a pretty good brother who would do anything for his sibling – just like Ed is with Sarah.

He realised at that moment that the person he was trying to be was not who he really was. Just some pathetic copy of a man who grew up his whole life living under his brother's shadow.

"And he knows how I am with most of the people I get romantically involved with, Sarah. I cheat on them. Lie to them. I take advantage of them. I let them down. Basically I suck – as a boyfriend, friend and possibly as a human being."

"I still like you." She replied in a small voice and he honest to god really wanted to smile but could not bring himself to feel again the feelings he had admitted openly to having for her at the house.

"I'm leaving." He replied simply.

"Already? I thought there was more time?" she turned to look at him, brows furrowed.

"I cant stay here. Everything is just so messed up, shit. I fucked a lot of shit up, half-pint," he began. "and I'm sorry I led you on. It was wrong."  
"but you did feel something didn't you?" she asked, eyes wide and doting. "I know you did. And what about Lee and your baby? Are you just going to abandon them?"

There was a long pause between them and the angst was thick. Eddy had thought about everything, he wish she knew how continuous those questions played in loop in his head. There was no place for him here, he had finally decided. He felt like scum of the earth for abandoning his kid, but with Lee furious and hating him it would make it near impossible to even see his child. She was smart and hurt. A combination he dreaded – nothing would be impossible to Lee in that state. Including full parental custody.

Why stay and fight a losing battle on that front.

Eddy could see Sarah looking at him in his peripheral vision. She was grasping at straws here. Without Ed's approval a 'Sarah and Eddy' would be impossible to implement. There really was no way around it. Ed could literally kill him. That man had spent years – actually, whole lifetime – of witnessing all the shit that Eddy put his girlfriends and hook ups through; no brother in their right mind would let such an immoral man near their sister.

And yet…

He looked at her "Hey. We had a fun run, but what did you expect Sarah. This was never meant to work out." He explained. "Plus you're young. You'll get over it."  
But would he?

He stood up, and she followed suite.

"Eddy, but I … I love you!" she almost begged, his heart stings tugging in an unpleasant way. Perhaps this was worth fighting for? That look she gave him, it was everything. It was true. "Just. Stay with me. Please?"

He sighed. "Sarah. I just don't feel the same." He lied as he saw a stray tear escape her.

….

They drove in silence for a couple of minutes, waiting to kill time for his flight.

It was awkward and painful, and Sarah was fighting the urge to beg him to reconsider everything – including his feelings.

Eddy however had his hands on the wheel and gaze on the road, stoic and blank. He did not want to talk about anything or give away the façade by donating extra details.

"Home?" he asked.

"Do you have some death wish?" she retorted, the mood still heavy.

"I just want you safe, and I know everyone's worried sick by now." He explained.

"So you don't love me but you want me safe?" she asked pointedly.

Here we go, he braced himself. "Sarah I don't want to talk about this."

"Why not!?" she demanded. "I'm so sick of dancing around you, scared to be hurt or scared of saying the wrong thing. I think you're making such a huge mistake here. If you want to run away from me, I get it – perhaps you really never loved me –"

"I never," he clarified.

"S_ure_," she said sarcastically, then continued. " But I think you're making a huge mistake leaving things the way they are with Lee.i'm hurt about it and shocked but this is no longer about you. There's a little baby now in existence who will need your love. It's cool if you don't give a shit about Lee or me; but think about your child."  
"I said I don't want to talk about this."  
"Eddy! Aggh," she growled. "So mature….! It hasn't even been twelve hours you hearing the news and you are running away from your responsibilities? I should have guessed it. Such a coward move."

Coward. There was that word again.

Sarah found them suddenly stopping in front of a familiar place – Nazz's apartment.

"Get out." He said calmly and mad, clearly touched by what she had said.

"You know this is the wrong thing to do."  
"Get. Out."

She hesitantly disembarked the car and watched it speed off into the distance. Clearly she had hurt his feelings. But it was the truth he needed to hear. She could care less about how he felt about anyone of them at this point, but she knew the pain of growing up without a father.

It was lonely and hard and an unjustifiable punishment over an innocent life.

She only hoped that he would reconsider.

…

"Hello?"  
"Nazz."  
"Oh god Sarah! Where are you? We've been looking for you the whole night! Are you alright?"

"I…_sniff, sniff…_I'm ok."  
"Honey, where are you? What's wrong?"  
"He's gone."

"Who's gone?"  
"Eddy…"

"What? Where? Are you with him? Please tell me where you are, we're so worried."  
"To New York… And he said he didn't feel anything."  
"Aww honey, I'm so sorry…."  
"It hurts, so much Nazz."  
"Sarah where are you? Jimmy and I are coming to get you, just say where you are."

"…And Ed found out everything."

"Oh, god. Is Eddy OK?"

"No. he's hurt pretty badly… and I said some horrible things to him too, and I totally hate that that was the last thing he heard me say before leaving. Please come get me?"

"Sure honey. Where are you?"

"I'm at your apartment. I can't go home and face…. face…."

"I get it. We're coming in a second, alright."

…

"Ed?"

A knock came from the door accompanying the voice but he purposefully ignored it, sending the millionth text to Jimmy and Nazz asking if they had found his sister.

After Eddy had left he had every intention of storming out and going to find her himself but Rolf took the keys, his reason being that Ed wasn't in his right sense to drive or talk about this to his sister.

And now, it was 6am. Dawn. Everyone but Double D, Johnny and May had gone home, politely wishing him that everything would turn out well.

"Ed? Brought you some coffee," May announced as she invited herself inside.

Perched on the bed, he was unable to look at her given what she had done. She stood behind him for a while, at a complete loss of things to say to the man she loved. She realised now that she never should have let things escalate to these lengths. She should have told him from the get go instead of trying to fix things.

Now Sarah has been missing for the whole night and everyone was worried sick, not to forget the ruined trusts and friendships.

Ed did not say anything to her, he just stared tiredly outside at the driveway, expecting to see his sister's cars; he was starting to have anxiety. He could use the coffee, but he didn't want to interact in any sort of way with May. At least not now.

"Ed, babe, please talk to me? I know how you feel but you need to understand I didn't do this to hurt anyone." She began.

His heart was not where her explanation was. Not one bit. He felt betrayed and lied to by the people he loved – and the one person he couldn't live without was amongst them.

"Baby, I love you. And I just figured I could put a stop to it before it got out of hand, but I guess it did." She continued, not sitting, but sounding sad, a bit antsy about his silence.

"Can you just not, Maryette. I want to be alone," he said.

Still she did not budge.

He never used her full name before. It sounded odd – almost like an insult of the worst type. Angry Ed was one person she never wished to be on's bad side, yet here she was. Guilty and remorseful.

"Ed! You can't just mope around in here, you hear me? Sarah is alright! Nazz told me! And I really do get why you're mad at me but come on, you can understand I did it to protect you and Sarah…"  
"She's alright and they didn't tell me?"  
"Sarah asked us all not to."

"Why the hell not? I'm the one almost dying of a heart attack! Where is she?"

He stood and faced her, for the first time in his life not feeling any positive emotions towards the woman he was looking at. This lying this was becoming a habit.

"I don't know they did not tell me."

"Fuck Maryett! What else are you keeping from me?" he asked madly. "I'm starting to get the feeling that this relationship might not work if you can look me right in my eyes and not tell me important things."

That stung May, her tears welled up and Ed nearly gave in until he replayed all the night's events and how it could have been stopped if she had come to him first with what she knew. For god's sake they were a team and they were meant to help each other make decisions not let one person think for the other. Here Ed thought she was different.

"What was I supposed to say, hm?"

"How about 'hey Ed, your scum friend is perving on your sister'? or maybe 'hey Ed, your missing sister is fine'… I don't understand where you get off making such huge decisions for me,"

"She did not want you to worry on both occasions! Was I supposed to let Sarah down and tell you? You do tend to be irrational when it comes to her!"

"Don't you dare tell me about my sister and I's relationship," he warned. "I love her, you hear? I literally cant function when she's upset and his… god this nearly killed me. If you don't understand that very part of me – well then, perhaps I made a mistake asking you to marry me."  
May's jaw dropped and her heart lurched.

"That was so low Ed," May's voice cracked. "You know I know you better than anyone else and you're putting me in a hard position here. I cant betray Sarah's trust cause I tryst her to deal with things. She's grown and you need to understand that. In as much as you love her she can date whoever she wants. Whoever includes your friends. You might hate him, but the way she's fallen for Eddy- it's real. I know cause she looks at him the way I look at you. Or at least used to, until you began second guessing me and giving the engagement conditions…. So here" she removed the engagement ring and placed it on his desk. "Let's correct that mistake."

Then she stormed out of the house and into her car, driving home as he stood by the window watching her leave, a twinge of guilt stabbing him. But still, she had crossed lines he thought she was incapable of crossing.

…


	19. Open

_**Open**_

Double D rushed into Ed's room after he heard the front door bang loudly and May's engine start up. The first thing he noticed was a shiny diamond ring on his friend's desk. Johnny had fallen asleep an hour ago on the couch and the house was quiet.

"Ed?" Double D stood there, cautiously. "Why is May gone… _without her engagement ring_?"

The only reply that came out was a scoff of indifference. Ed looked like his mind was elsewhere.

"Hey _did you know_ that Sarah is _actually_ alright? I've been wasting my time upset when all the while she's been fucken alright," he said as if it was some joke, almost laughing at what he had said.

Double D looked upon him with a worried look "Er, yea. Nazz mentioned – May told you?"

Ed nodded, sitting on his bed "The first damn thing she actually did tell me."  
"Come on, Ed, give her some credit. All of us were sworn to secrecy. I understand Sarah is furious with you for hurting Eddy –"

"What!?" Ed asked. "Ha, that's so rich. She doesn't know what she's talking about."

"…She is the one who is involved in all of this, Ed; how about trying to understand where she's coming from?" Double D prodded. "Don't you think you might be overreacting?"

"_Where she's coming from_? Do you even hear yourself Double D?!"Ed asked. "She thinks she's in love with Eddy!"

"Well yes…"

"Tell me, Double D. Help me understand. Because last time I checked you and I were the very same people advising that loser on wingman schemes to get into girl's pants," Ed said. "When did YOU suddenly forget that vital piece of information?"

Double D looked down in embarrassment. Although he did not actively participate, he had not done much to stop his friend's tyrannical rule over the female species. And that was just as bad. If anything, he actually enabled him by not stopping Eddy's entitled, sexist attitude.

"And also, tell me something…? What _is_ the proper way to react when you realise that some of those less that respectful means of courting were targeted at your sister, huh?" Ed asked. "Actually. How the hell is everyone suddenly forgetting that that IS WHO THAT SCUMBAG IS? So now that he's gotten away with pulling one over my girlfriend's sister and MY OWN SISTER, we should be understanding? Just because he said sorry?"

"Whatever happened to giving people the benefit of the doubt?"

"Benefit of the doubt? Lee announced that they were having a baby together and he declares his undying love for my innocent little sister an hour later? What the hell kind of priorities does that jerk have?" Ed fumed. "I can't even think straight cause I'm so mad."  
"Fair enough... just give it time," Double D implored.

"Don't think I will. I'm pretty dead set in my opinion right now."

"You dead set on _that_ too?" Double D motioned to the ring on the desk.

Ed sighed and shrugged "She lied to me."

"She did what was right in the moment, " Double D defended May, and on a different level, himself. "Plus it wasn't her place to tell."

"What if she'd waited too long and Eddy had knocked my sister up too?" Ed asked, his voice rising. "When is the time ever right."  
"You know what I mean Ed," Double D said. "And if I'm being completely honest too, you must know that I knew as well."

"What?"  
"Yes. I told Eddy to tell you what was happening. The whole truth. It was not my place to wedge myself between you two like that, cause you are both my friends." explained Eddward. "And I know it would have been bad, but hearing it from someone else would have been ten times worse."

"You knew, Double D?" Ed asked wincing at his friend, practically growling.

"Yes I did!" he exclaimed. "If you're gonna beat me up and kick me out of the house too, do it, but the point is you'll look at this later and hopefully understand why we acted the way we did. To protect Sarah. And out of respect of you."

"What the hell." Ed muttered, sure he was angry but he was not making any moves to attack Double D - so that was a good sign.  
"Look, Ed. Your sister is mad and possibly scared of your reaction at the moment. Eddy's going to need facial stitches and new friends; and May, poor May was caught up in the crossfire because of the good she was trying to do in your life. She loves you. And she loves the people you love so she knew where her boundaries were – that's why she couldn't have possibly told you something so important, as angry as she was about it."

"She still knew."  
"Dammit, Ed. Look… You don't want to make this a bigger deal than it already is. Is this worth being alone over? Cause as it stands your smothering and unrealistic high expectations are driving people away. Don't you think Eddy knew Sarah was off limits? And that you are 200 pounds of pure marine muscle who could snap his neck. Trust me when I say I'd be more than intimidated to tell you too." Double D reasoned. "Just. Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary solutions buddy."

Ed remained silent, something having hit a nerve. "But. Why did he have to go behind her back and see Lee too? I dont get the reasoning behind that."

Now it was Double D's turn to go silent. "I dont know. That's why it's important to hear him out, yanno. I cant tell you everything that was going on in his head better than Eddy can."

Ed finally turned, nodding in agreement and seemingly pensive. Double D was glad that he was getting to his friend.

"As for May. Don't ever give that girl a reason to walk out without her engagement on. I know you still love her, and this in a couple of months will seem like nothing. She's your soulmate. Don't be like me – I completely ruined my chances with Marie and I'd be lying if I said those unresolved feelings haven't changed me as a man or haunt me on my best days," Double D opened up. "I miss her. Everyday. And now. I'm in love with Nazz but I also still love Marie. It's not every day that a man gets a second chance at happiness. I got lucky – and unless you're willing to take the chance, don't let her go. You will definitely regret it."

"You miss Marie?" Ed asked, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

His friend nodded "18months, 12days and 7hours. I count; weird?_ I know._ But I felt like I was going crazy – like a part of my soul was removed. The hole is still there, and it'll take a while to heal I suppose, but faster now that Nazz is in my life. She's such a breath of fresh air... you get my point? Hey, I'll tell you this: if you can avoid the heartache – take the other road. Swallow your pride and admit you were wrong."

"That was possibly so depressing monologue I think I missed the point," Ed said, a grin on his face and trying to lighten the mood. "All I took from that was how you're suddenly now in love with two women."

Double D smiled at his friend "That's actually the first time I've admitted that to anyone. Everytime I see her all those memories resurface."  
"The good ones?"

"And the bad." He clarified. "Either way I'm always feeling pretty strongly about her."

"Yo, shit Sock Head - and I thought I was fucked," Ed said, now back to his calm self and standing to pocket the ring. "Good luck with your diobakecal."

"It's DEBACLE!" Edd called from his friend's room.

Ed jogged out of the room and Double D heard his friend's motorcycle rev to life. He smiled, Ed could usually be reasoned with, or perhaps since they were friends for such a long time he knew how to play his angles to get him to see the more reasonable side. For the most part it worked.

And he was glad this was one of those times.

…

"So, can I get a Turkey leg?" a now awake Johnny asked Double D. "Come on, nobody will notice."

"Johnny, I think people will notice a missing leg off a turkey," Edd chuckled.

"Damn. And yesterday I came in my fat pants," he replied, munching on a bowl of Cheerios. This earned a curious look from Double D who shook his head, amused and concerned at the same time.

"Hey, why is everyone just leaving? Where's Ed and May?"

"Making up somewhere," Double D said rather proudly.

"Yeaaaaah, ok." Johnny noted the eerie smile on his face then switched on the TV. That was quite a weird thing to get excited over… but then again, Johnny never really understood the Eds. A beep distracted his college basketball match. He texted while watching and eating.

JIMMY: ARE YOU UP?  
JOHNNY: YEA, WOKE UP FOR THE GAME. MIGHT PASS OUT AGAIN AFTER :P

JIMMY: LOL. HAVE SOME GINGER TEA IT'LL WAKE YOU UP.

JOHNNY: EUW. GROSS. NO. I'LL ACTUALLY RATHER SLEEP THANKS.

JIMMY: HAHA

JIMMY: HEY SORRY ABOUT HOW YESTERDAY TURNED OUT. I KNOW YOU PROB THOUGHT THAT THAT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF WE WERE AT YOUR AUNT'S PLACE.

JOHNNY: THE DRAMA WAS ACTUALLY SPOT ON... CRAZY FAMILY AND ALL.  
JIMMY: IT MEANT A LOT THAT YOU CAME TO SUPPORT ME.

JOHNNY: IT'S MY PLEASURE. BUT. YOU SHOULD KNOW. YOU OWE ME A FULL TURKEY.

JIMMY: I'M THE KING OF FULL TURKEYS.

JOHNNY: GOBBLE GOBBLE

JIMMY: SARAH'S OUT NOW. POOR THING CRIED HERSELF TO SLEEP. EDDY'S LEFT FOR NEW YORK.

JOHNNY: OH DAMN. SORRY TO HEAR. REALLY SUCKS THE WAY IT ALL PLAYED OUT

JIMMY: IKR

JOHNNY: I THINK I'LL HANG OUT TIL THE GAME ENDS THEN CATCH A RIDE HOME.

JIMMY: OK. I'LL SEE YOU LATER, LOVE YOU

JOHNNY: LOVE YOU TOO

…


	20. Shatter

Shatter

_I'm sorry I overreacted last night; you're right I am a coward. What you told me last night scared me and I was running away from the prospect of being hurt again. It's something that I've dealt with a lot in my life, but I'm willing to make it work. With you. So listen. If you will still want to, we can sort this out. Just us. Cancelled my trip. Decided to stay and make it work with you. I want this._

\- Eddy [text message]

….

***flashback***

**The Kanker sisters had always looked out for one another because they felt like they could trust nobody else.**

**For as long as they could remember the young women fared just fine by themselves. Although living in poverty and sheer friendlessness, they felt a sense of belonging with one another that came from the family bond, despite each girl having a separate father. **

**Most of the spawn that lived in the trailer park were older teenagers, the only other children that were their age were the kids that lived on the other side of the town in the Peach Creek suburbs. **

**From the outside looking in, the girls felt like those children were living the life: three square meals a day, an actual house with each child having their own bedroom, a television set that wasn't purely outdated, parents who actually cared for them, and most importantly – the company of other children.**

**Marie remembers the first time they ventured out of the trailer park to that side of town. They must have been eleven, perhaps ten. Their stepfather was yelling, a precursor to his abusive tendencies. Anyone who was in his way was sure to feel the wrath of his concrete punches.**

**May, who had suffered possibly the most of the three was starting to have a panic attack. Nobody knew why he preferred to beat on her more than anyone else, but her older sisters were not going to stand for it. **

**Marie and Lee decided to take her out of the environment. If only for a while. For their own safety and peace of mind.**

**They told her to dress up in her nice school clothes, and that got her calm and pretty excited.**

**"Where are we going?" May asked, blue eyes wide with curiosity.**

**"Arcade," Lee said, leaning on the broken door of their shared bedroom. Their mother was taking the fall from her boyfriend for making the wrong type of bacon or something, and the fight was fast escalating.**

**"Come on, come on," Marie prodded, fishing something out from deep within her torn mattress. She was impatient to leave the house.**

**"Did you get it?" Lee asked Marie.**

**"Get what?" a naïve May asked.**

**"Nothing!" her two sisters retorted together, but Marie secretly nodded to Lee – she had nabbed a solid fifty from their mother's purse. That should be enough for the day.**

**"Are you guys sure about this? I'm worried about Momma," May confessed on the bus, sitting by the window near Lee.**

**"Come on, she'll be fine," Lee reassured her sister. "Remember what she always tells us: the Kanker women are strong."**

**"Yeah, so stop your whining. You need to have fun today," Marie explained from the seat in front of her sisters. "We can even go watch a movie later on if you want."**

**"Cool!" May gasped. "Hey, where ****_did_**** you get the money?"**

**"Babysitting," lied Marie.**

**"But you only get fifty cents to sit the whole night for the Mayers?" May asked, trying to do the math in her head.**

**"Look, here's our stop!" Lee said excitedly, stopping the conversation before May found out the truth or successfully did basic arithmetic. Usually she never agreed to do anything bad.**

**This was May's first time ever being at the mall and it was glorious. She never thought places like this existed where she lived. If anything, the fanciest place she had ever been to was the takeout by the gas station near the trailer park.**

**Marie on the other hand had made several trips here, mainly to get away from home and tag along with Lee and her friends. She liked it way better than any place else, and found that the arcade was perhaps the most amazing place at the mall.**

**"We should start with the racing one, I always beat Marie at that game," Lee bragged.**

**"Not true! You always cheat!"**

**After they bought their tickets for a set of games they went to place on the racing cars and did a couple of gaming consoles, then something caught May's eyes "Hey look, basketball!"**

**Standing by the basketball game were three boys, about their age. One was by the ticket deposit slip, attempting to unscrew the machine – he had a cheesy yellow bowling shirt and looked like he was balding for his age. The tallest one was playing on the machine, seemingly content and perhaps as a distraction to other people, or maybe to him, because he was laughing at every score he got ****_and _****missed... The third kid was nerdy in a red shirt and a dumb looking beanie. He looked terrified but was standing nearby surveying the area, being the worst lookout in history.**

**"Hey what are they doing?" observed Marie, halting her sisters.**

**"Looks like they're trying to get extra tickets?"**

**"They're cheating!" exclaimed May, wide eyed, but her sisters pulled her from going to confront them.**

**As the three girls watched, they took in the seemingly effortless way each boy played his role until, after ten or so minutes, they managed to make the basketball machine regurgitate about a hundred or so tickets…. Enough for a whole month worth of arcade visits!**

**They all gasped, watching the boys walk out of the arcade, pockets stuffed with tickets ready to be used on another day.**

**"We should do that!" the three girls individually thought to themselves.**

**Needless to say, the next time the Kankers encountered the boys who allowed them access to free afternoons at the arcade, they were near the trailer park in the woods, in weird looking suits made out of old garage trash. May could not stop laughing at how funny they looked and Marie came up with the idea of inviting them to the trailer since their mother and her boyfriend were out.**

**Through mainly the Ed's sheer stupidity at that age, the Kankers managed to drag them half passed out from fear into their home and into each one's dad's robes, to wine and dine them.**

**"They would make really good boyfriends," Lee randomly said as the young girls stared at the boys they had stalked for a while now.**

**Marie, May and Lee exchanged smiled in agreement; the rest, you could say – was history.**

***end of flashback***

…

"I can't believe I ever loved that asshole!" Lee cried, head perched on Marie's lap.

Her sister stroked her hair in sympathy, hushing her and watching her other blonde sister pace about the new apartment Marie had just bought for herself.

"_I_ can't believe how horrible Ed was! He literally did not even say anything to me as I left… I think out engagement is officially over?" May stooped, eyes watering. Her blue haired sister motioned for her to come sit by her side, and she did, placing her head on her shoulder. She had told her sisters the whole conversation and the calling off of the engagement.

"Screw the Eds, who needs them anyway," Marie added absentmindedly, recalling ever second of last night that Double D defended his precious new girlfriend.

"I do," May said melancholically.

"I certainly do not. I don't need this baby either." Lee said, tears dried up on her face, and gaze set on the coffee table.

Her sisters looked at her, waiting for her to add on something else. "What?"  
"Are you saying…?" May trailed off the thought, scared of actually saying it out loud lest it come to pass.

"I don't know, alright. I just…" Lee sighed, sitting up and looking at them, a fresh batch of tears starting to stream down her face. "I don't know if I can do it alone."  
"You're not alone!" Marie chimed in. "You have _us_. And we'll support you and your baby, right May?"

"Right!"  
"Just don't do anything rash," Marie said knowingly. "Trust me, you need to think about it and after you've decided – think about it some more. Don't be like me. I regret ever…. Agh. You know. It's painful and horrible. It feels like losing a piece of your soul. Screw Eddy if he wants to be a little bitch about this, but don't hurt yourself more than he's hurt you."  
Lee buried her face in her hands, somewhat ashamed of what she had suggested. It was the easier way out but she did not know if she really had the guts to go through with something so cruel to an innocent like that.

In any case, her sisters reassurance comforted her, and the very thought of having a little version of herself that's pure goodness and love excited her. He or she would love unconditionally, something Lee had never had, and if she was meant to go through all this heartache to experience that, she did not mind.

There was a knock on the door. May and Lee looked at Marie curiously.

"Expecting visitors?" May asked.

Marie shook her head, getting up to answer the door. Nobody ever visited her – mainly because nobody knew her new address. Upon cracking open the door a bit, she saw the last person she expected… Ed.

…

"It's Ed!" she exclaimed, closing the door before the man outside could say anything.

"What?" Lee and May asked.

"You're boyfriend. Ex. Fiancé. Ex-fiance…ah whatever," Marie told May. "Should I let him in?"  
May looked at Lee, then looked at Marie again, hesitation marring her face "I don't know, should I?"

"Marie, I know May is in there with you, I saw her car downstairs," Ed called, then knocked again. "Please let me in to talk to her?"

Marie shrugged her shoulders, knowing what a tight spot her sister must be in. Lee was silent as well, she looked at her sister to see what she would decide.

"I need to apologize, ok? I was wrong." Ed called. "I didn't mean what I said, May. I love you."  
Her expression softened and her heart melted a little at his words. She got up from where she was sitting and began to walk to the door to embrace him when they heard something from outside.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Ed was heard to say intimidatingly.

"I could ask you the same question…"

The tones were lethal and the girls could easily sense it. Coupled with the second familiar voice, they knew they had to nip whatever was coming in the bud before it escalated, so Marie opened the door and her sisters loomed behind her to see if any fight would ensue, but both men stood their ground.

"Eddy! What are you doing here?" Lee asked. "I thought you left?!"


	21. Spoken

Spoken

"Eddy! What are you doing here?" Lee asked. "I thought you left?!"

"I almost did, but I couldn't leave things the way they were," he told Lee. "I'd been looking for you for the past two hours."  
"Things would have been better without you," Ed interjected annoyed at Eddy.

"Hey, look. I'm really not in the mood to fight with you, Ed. You were literally my next port of call after I spoke to Lee."  
"I don't want to hear anything you have to tell me."  
"Ed!" May chastised, pushing past her sisters to her now fiancé. "Ed, please just hear him out. I hate this fighting thing, you know that. That's why I wanted to figure everything out alone, to avoid _this_."  
Ed looked into May's eyes and sighed. She looked like she had been crying and it made him feel guilty and stupid for overreacting. Marie's apartment was a long drive away from theirs and he had nothing but time to think about what he said, but more importantly what she meant to him. A lot.

He did not want to lose her.

Turning to his friend he said "Fine. Speak."

"I'll start with you, Ed." Began Eddy in the hallway of the apartment. "I know I fucked up alright? I know it will probably be really difficult to understand my thought process, but I did not set out to do anything malicious. Man, you gotta believe that until a while back I thought your sister legit hated me. So when _she_ told me she had feelings for me, it caught me off guard. I guess I didn't know how to react. Actually, I was more surprised than anything. That's why I didn't do anything with her."  
"You mean sleep with her?" asked Ed.

"No Ed. I literally mean _do anything_. I panicked. I couldn't decide whether I was confused or trying to ignore it away. But the more I did, the more I thought about her in that light… and it was effortless with her. Everything. She's smart. Funny. Beautiful. That's why I couldn't just up and come and tell you what happened. Cause I knew you'd think I took advantage of her if I told you I didn't feel anything for her after all that." Eddy explained.

"And you don't?" Ed asked.

"That's the problem. _I do_." he explained, then turned to look at Lee, whose heart was sinking within her, perceptive of what was coming. "We need to talk… in private."

Lee nodded, and Ed said "It's going to take a while for me to come to grips with that, and obviously you need to prove to me that you're deserving. You know how I give every other fool a hard time over dating my sister. It's cause I love her and want the best for her."

"I know. And I'm not rushing into anything with her, trust me. I'm trying to figure out my shit mess of a life now, but believe me when I say I actually love her."

Ed pinched the bridge of his nose "I need processing time."

"Come on, let's go inside and let these two talk." May said, taking Ed's hand. "I'm proud of you. This is a good first step."

Marie, Ed and May went indoors and left eddy to talk to Lee.

Eddy perched himself by the stairs near the apartment door, and looked up at Lee who looked like she was going to hear soul crushing news. "You're perfect. You know that?"

"Don't butter me up, Eddy." Lee said solemnly. "Just say what you gotta."

"I mean it, Lee. For the longest time you were what I needed," he told her, bringing a knee up to his hand and sitting lazily, recalling all their fond memories. "And I love you for that."

"Just not what you wanted, huh?"  
"Don't make this about her."  
"This has always been about her!" Lee said madly, her voice raising. "Ever since that party I could tell you were 'about her'."

He remained silent for a while, letting her cool down into soft cry hiccups "I'm sorry-"  
She held up her hand to stop him "Save it."

"If you don't want to hear it, well. I need to get it off my chest, Lee." He said softly. "…. I regret mistreating you. I regret it a lot. Because you get me better than anyone could ever hope to. And I'd like to think I know what makes you_ you_ by now."

"So why… why was it her that you fell in love with and not me?!" Lee asked, sliding down across from Eddy on a stair.

Eddy looked blankly to the wall behind her, thinking. He shrugged "She challenges me and calls out my bullshit, yanno. When we were kids I hated it. I thought nothing much of her and the only time she ever spoke to me was when she was revealing my shit soul to the world…" he explained. "I don't know, she fascinates me."

"Wow. Sounds like you've really got it all figured out." Lee said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"I could also be grossly misreading the situation," he told her. "I royally suck at romance."

"Don't I know it." Lee stated.

Eddy looked at her until she looked up to meet his eyes. They didn't say anything for a while, avoiding the elephant in the room.

"I don't think what I feel for you is love." Lee said. "Not being bitter or anything. It's just, my therapist suggested it during the last session when I told her about the baby, and we worked through this you and I thing…. it's turned into something twisted. On my end."

"What? How?"

"Given my abusive stepdads I think I just wanted to control you and force the happy relationship thing to happen between us; cause I always wanted that for my mom. Somewhere along the line I began wanting it for myself,"she explained eloquently. "We used to be so effortless – that's why we kept getting back with each other... but it's unhealthy. I have things to deal with, so do you."

Eddy nodded "And it's no longer just about us as individuals. Someone else is counting on us to be emotionsally stable people," he added, smiling at her.

Lee grinned then the joy on her face dissipated "I didn't think you wanted me to keep the –"

"Please don't finish that sentence."  
"What it's true!" Lee continued. "With the way you reacted, could you expect me of considering an abortion?"

Eddy looked at her surprised "Lee…" he began, feeling guilty. "If I made it seem as if I didn't want my own child I'm sorry. On my way to the airport, that's all I could think of. How another kid in Peach Creek will grow up without their father."

"I'm still keeping her," she informed him. "I had decided way before you came. Cause this little baby if possibly the only other family I have aside from my sisters who will love me no matter what."  
"I'm your family now, too," Eddy suggested, smiling sweetly. Lee jokingly rolled her eyes.

"Not just because of the baby, but cause of us." He said. "I do deeply care about you, Lee Kanker. I always have. And I'm excited as fuck about our little son."

"…or daughter."

"I'm pretty sure it's a boy," he said, to which Lee tsk'ed.

…

Marie had fallen asleep on the couch.

Ed and May had resorted to make up for the big breakup in her spare bedroom and she didn't want to be close to those kinds of disturbing deprived noises.

Lee entered after two hours of just talking. She had a huge goofy grin on her face like a schoolgirl.

"Are you two back together as well?" Marie asked when she opened her eyes to see her sister.

"No."

"So why are you so happy?" Marie enquired as her sister sat down next to her.

"I feel like a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders. Like I'm not panting for him anymore and I'm completely fine having his baby." Lee tried to explain. "Does that make sense?"

"Nope."  
Lee blushed. "Ok. That's ok too."

"Where is Eddy?"

"I don't know. I'm not really worried." Lee said, lying on the sofa contentedly and no sign of bitterness on her face. "I'm just glad we got to resolve everything and find closure over this."

"Oh." Marie said, happy her sister was happy. "But you do know… your baby is going to be really short?"

Lee laughed, "I know."


End file.
